Unikitty, Puppycorn And Master Frown Are Pirates A Spongebob Parody

Master Frown: [Looks around at the Happy Burger with a telescope] Where could they be? They should've been here hours ago! Arrgh! Not a customer in sight. If I don't make any money today, I'll surely break out in a rash!

[Unikitty, Puppycorn, and Master Frown are playing a board pirate game]

Unikitty: Yippee! I'm rich! Look, Puppycorn, eight gold doubloons!

Master Frown: Wait, I saw it first! Ha! [Jumps onto table and sweats] Mine! Mine! Huh?!

Unikitty: Boy, Master Frown, you sure are sweaty!

Master Frown: What's this? Where are the doubloons?

Unikitty: There are no real doubloons, Master Frown! It's a game called "The Score Creeper's Treasure Hunt".

Puppycorn: Based on a real treasure map.

Unikitty: Take a break and play around with us.

Puppycorn: Yeah! C'mon, sweaty.

Master Frown: Have you finished cleaning the tables?

Unikitty: I cleaned the tables, Master Frown!

Master Frown: Ay, but did you scrape all the gum off the underside?

Unikitty: [chewing gum] I already took care of it.

Master Frown: Ha ha ha. All right, lads. Looks like you've shanghaied me.

Puppycorn: My turn. [rolls dice] Five. [makes raspberry noise while moving piece. Reads card] One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate! Send him to the brig! Hmmm. [Unikitty turns her eyes toward Master Frown] It's off to jail for you, Master Frown.

Master Frown: Puppycorn, you're fired!

Puppycorn: But I don't even work in here!

Master Frown: Well, Mr. Happy says to me you're hired, And you're welcome.

Puppycorn: Boy, would I?!

Master Frown: Nah. You're fired. [Laughs] No. I'm just kidding with you.

Unikitty: My turn. [rolls dice] One, two, three, four. [picks up card and reads it] Look for the Deacon's Goose thru the fork in the old tree and head that way. [looks through the hole in the tree] Well, I see Master Frown's zipper is undone.

Master Frown: Shiver me timbers!

Unikitty: [laughs] Just kidding, Frownie. I'm almost to the treasure. Your turn again, Master Frown.

Master Frown: [rolls dice] Ooh, gold eyes. One, two.

Unikitty: [picks up card and reads it] You are a real pirate. Go straight to the "X" that marks the spot. You get to dig for treasure, Master Frown!

Master Frown: Treasure. [digs and mini plastic treasure chest appears] There it is! It's the Score Creeper's Treasure! Gold, gold, gold. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. [starts sweating profusely]

Unikitty: Hey, Master Frown is getting all sweaty again.

Crankybeard: [walks into The Happy Burger] Rev up those fryers, ‘cause I am sure hungry for one-- [Master Frown picks him up, holds him over his head, and heads for the door] Help! Help!

Master Frown: Get out! Get out!

Crankybeard: But I want a Uniburger! [He throws him out the door] My leg!

Master Frown: WE ARE CLOSED! [rushes back to the game table] Ready for another round?! This is my kind of game!

Unikitty and Puppycorn: Hooray!

Master Frown: Six! One, two... [scenery changes from day to night. Unikitty and Puppycorn are tired; Puppycorn is even asleep on the table] I win again! Oh, that's seventeen times in a row.

Unikitty: I think we ought to call it a night, Master Frown. I really got to get some sleep.

Master Frown: Oh, you can't walk out on me now.

Unikitty: I'm sorry, Master Frown. [she yawns, slings Puppycorn over her shoulder, and the two go back to their castle] See you tomorrow. [Rattling noises are heard] Huh? Who's there?

Puppycorn: Let me go see. [Turns on the light]

Master Frown: Come on you two. One more game. I can smell the treasure.

[Puppycorn and Unikitty angrily push Master Frown outside the castle]

Unikitty: Master Frown. I need to inform you that it's late.

Puppycorn: Go back to your apartment at Frown Town and go to bed. Good night, Master Frown. [angrily shuts the doors, only to find out that Master Frown is inside the castle again]

Master Frown: Wind is perfect and the tide is right. Let's hunt for treasure.

Unikitty: Master Frown! You have to go- [opens the doors and Master Frown is now outside]

Master Frown: That's awful, lads. If the Score Creeper hears you, we'll never get his treasure.

Puppycorn: Master Frown! You need-

Master Frown: I'll roll for you two.

Unikitty: But, Master-

Master Frown: [rolls dice] Eight paces, north. That's a good start, lads.

Puppycorn: [Getting ready to rage] Seriously! Go back home! We want to go to sleep!

Master Frown: [As Puppycorn's eyes are glowing purple] One, two, three...

Unikitty and Puppycorn: [turning into their rage forms, yelling in fury] MASTER FROWN!!!!! WE WANT TO GO TO BED!!!!! GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!

[This sends Master Frown into a total panic as he quickly puts the board game away and runs back home as fast as he can.]

Master Frown: [When morning arrives] Avast. Castle, ho. Heave two, and prepare to be boarded.

Unikitty: Aw! Go home already! I'm done playing that game, Master Frown!

Master Frown: That’s Captain Frown to you and this is no game. We're gonna be pirates.

Unikitty: Pirates?

Master Frown: Ay! How'd you like to go on a real treasure hunt, with a real treasure map?

Unikitty and Puppycorn: [Puppycorn appears from the side of Unikitty] Treasure? [dancing around as their pupils in their eyes have turned into treasure chests] We're gonna be pirates, we're gonna be pirates!

Master Frown: Ay, ay, ay. Belay that skipping. Pirates don't skip. [throws them a bag of pirate stuff] Put on this pirate garb, so I won't be embarrassed to be seen with ya. Arrgh.

Unikitty: Oh, Puppycorn. Look! Peg legs and eye patches.

Master Frown: Now, don't you feel more like pirates?

Unikitty: [Walks towards the plank using two peg legs] Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate! [falls on plank]

Puppycorn: [Walks towards the plank with two separate eyepatches covering his eyes] I'm Blind Beard the Pirate! [falls on Unikitty]

Unikitty: Ow.

Master Frown: Arrgh! [sailing overworld] Keep a sharp lookout, Unikitty. According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.

Unikitty: Really? Can we see the map?

Master Frown: Uh... no! Only the captain can lay eyes on the map.

Unikitty: Okie dokie, then.

Master Frown: Arrgh, a pirate doesn't say, "okie dokie, then." A pirate says, "arrgh!"

Unikitty: Okie... oops. [laughs while a butterfly flies by her] I mean... [standing up] arrgh! Captain Frown. [eyes widen] Captain, we're about to hit... uhh... I mean... arrgh, Capt., arrgh, we're, arrgh, about, arrgh, to hit, arrgh...

Master Frown: Out with it man, arrgh!

Puppycorn: I, arrgh, think, arrgh, she's trying, arrgh, to say...! [crash] land.

Master Frown: ARRGH! From now on, only the captain says, arrgh! Status report, Mrs. Unikitty?

Unikitty: The whole ship is in the ground captain.

Master Frown: Arrgh, we're marooned then. Our treasure hunt will have to continue on foot. This is it, guys, from that plant with two leaves on it. 10,000 paces east.

Unikitty: But, Master Frown, that plant has... [Master Frown pulls a leaf off] Which way, captain

Master Frown: Ensign Puppycorn, which way is east?

Puppycorn: Uhh... let's see, uhh... [points] that way, captain!

Master Frown: 9,997... 9,998... 9,999... 10,000! Where's the "X"? Supposed to be right here! 10,000 paces east.

Puppycorn: Ooh! East? I thought you said "weast"!

Master Frown: Weast? What kind of compass you reading lad?

Puppycorn: This one, sir.

Master Frown: That's west, Puppycorn. You're fired again. [cuts to the crew walking again] 9,551... 9,552...

Unikitty: Master Frown, we're tired.

Puppycorn: And hungry.

Master Frown: Ooh. So this is my crew. You get a little tired, and a wee-bit hungry, and you want to shove off for home. Arrgh! That sickens me. A pirate is not judged by the notches in his compass, but by the sides of his booty. A pirate is judged by the loyalty and his crew. And without a loyal crew... [Unikitty's eyes fill up with tears and turns into Sad Kitty] What am I captain of?! Just... a bunch of sand! [crying]

Puppycorn: Don't cry, Captain Frown. [crying]

Sad Kitty: [sniffles and cries] Yeah, we'll be your loyal crew. [both cry for a minute]

Master Frown: You'll stay with me then? [Stops crying as well after a minute]

Unikitty and Puppycorn: We'll be the most loyal pirate crew ever!

Master Frown: I knew I could count on you boys. One for all!

Unikitty and Puppycorn: And all for one! [laying on ground at night outside tent]

Unikitty: I'm so loyal, I don't even mind sleeping on the cold, hard ground while Captain Frown sleeps in his warm, dry tent.

Puppycorn: I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks.

Unikitty: But we've only been gone a few hours.

Puppycorn: I know. [laughs. Unikitty moves away]

Unikitty: I'm so loyal, I don't wanna sleep till we find the treasure. Let's go see if the captain will go now!

Unikitty and Puppycorn: Captain Frown?

Unikitty: He's not here.

Puppycorn: Look! The treasure map.

Unikitty: Only the captain can look at the map, Puppycorn.

Puppycorn: Yeah...

Unikitty: Puppycorn, what are you doing?

Puppycorn: Nothing.

Unikitty: Puppycorn, you're not supposed to look at the map. [Puppycorn touches the map]

Puppycorn: I'm not looking, I'm touching. There's no rule against that, is there?

Unikitty: No, guess there isn't. [Both poking map. Map opens] Oops! Puppycorn, it opened by itself. [Both laugh. Eyes enlarge and search the map]

Unikitty and Puppycorn: The map, the map, gotta see it, gotta look at it. [Eyes freeze for a second and then pop back in their heads.]

Puppycorn: Unikitty?

Unikitty: Yeah?

Puppycorn: Did you notice something familiar about this map?

Unikitty: You mean, like that it's our game board taped to a piece of paper?

Master Frown: [appearing right behind them] Do you think this is a problem?

Unikitty and Puppycorn: [scream] Master Frown!

Master Frown: Sneaking peeks at me treasure map?

Puppycorn: We're sorry.

Master Frown: That's mutiny on my ship. So you think ol' Captain Frown has gone crazy, do ye?

Unikitty: Not at all, Captain Frown. We don't think that at all!

Puppycorn: I think that.

Master Frown: I'm gonna throw you overboard for saying that!

Unikitty: [gasps] Look! It's the "X".

Master Frown: [eyes go into "X" like symbol] "X" marks the spot!

Unikitty: Wow! That game really is based on a real treasure map.

Master Frown: Well, what are you waiting for, lads? Dig! Dig! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.

Unikitty: We got it, Captain Frown.

Master Frown: Ha, ha. Hand it up to me, lads. Heave! [Brings treasure up] We finally found it. [opens up the treasure chest]

Female Singers: The Score Creeper's Treasure.

All: Wow!

Unikitty: What are you going to do with your share, Little Bro?

Puppycorn: I don't know. How are you going to spend your share, Big Sis?

Master Frown: What shares? You're not getting any of my treasure!

Unikitty: We found it together. So we deserve a share!

Master Frown: Well, I'm the captain. And I say it's mine!

Unikitty: What about loyalty?