Unikitty Says Bad Words A SpongeBob Parody.

My Fanfiction with Spongebob And Cartoon Crossovers

[The title card has men singing part of the song "Sailing Over the Dogger Bank"]

♪Watcha twigger she's a proper jubby-jewel... On a passage from the Dogger Bank to Great Grimsby!♪

[then we see the Crossover Restaurant at night]

SwaySway: Well, it's the worst time of the day once again. [changes the sign from "Open" to "Closed"] Closing time.

Rainbow Dash: [wipes her sweat off] Whew! That was some work, huh?

SwaySway: I'll say!

Rainbow Dash: Man, I'm beat! Well, see you in the morning, SwaySway.

SwaySway: Hold on there, Rainbow Dash! [pulls Rainbow Dash back] Take that pile of filth with you on the way out.

[Harvey Beaks holds up a trash bag with flies flying around it]

Rainbow Dash: [gasps] SwaySway, you shouldn't be talk about Harvey like that! We're all friends here!

Harvey Beaks: Huh?! W-why, I’d never….! He means this filth, you loon!

[Harvey drops the bag on the floor]

Rainbow Dash: Oh…. heh heh, I knew that.

[Rainbow Dash goes to the dumpster while bringing the trash bag]

Rainbow Dash: [singing] I'm takin' out the trash! I'm takin' out the trash!

[Rainbow Dash throws the trash in the dumpster and then looks at some writings on the dumpster.]

Rainbow Dash: Huh? What's this? Hmm... [gasps] dumpster writing! The voice of the characters from Toon City! Alright, let's see what we got here. "Up with speed, down with water!" That one must be from Sonic. [laughs] Hahaha! Oh, those were the days! "Animals are just like us too!" [laughs] Hah! Oh, that could only be Fluttershy! Hey... Here's one someone didn't finish! Harvey Beaks smells. [writes the word "good" after "smells"] Good. [laughs] Hahahaha! Hmm, what's this one? SwaySway is a... hmm? SwaySway is a [censored beep sound].

Sweepz: [Clearly mad and disgusted] Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!

[Sweepz picks up multiple garbage bags and leaves]

Rainbow Dash: Well, Sometimes. But, not recently. Huh, wonder what's biting him?

Gumball: [off-screen] Hi, Sweepz. [appears on-screen] Hi, Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: Hi, Gumball! Hey, Gumball, do you know what this word means?

Gumball: Hmm…. "SwaySway..." Uh, isn't that the Breadwinner you work for?

Rainbow Dash: [pointing to "SwaySway," then the unseen word as they are said] Nah-uh, not that word, that word.

Gumball: Hmm... [censored beep sound]! Oh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.

Rainbow Dash: Sentence enhancers?

Gumball: Yeah! My Family of Wattersons use ‘em all the time! Like this one time where My Mom, stubbed her toe on a sofa leg.

Rainbow Dash: Wow, really?

Gumball: Mhm! Well anyway, You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it over anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!

Rainbow Dash: Oh, I get it now! Here, Let me try. [clears her throat] Ahem. Hello, Gumball. Lovely [censored beep sound] day we're having, isn't it?

Gumball: Why, yes it is, Rainbow Dash. This [censored beep sound] day is particularly [censored beep sound] lovely!

Rainbow Dash: How [censored beep sound] right you are, Gumball!

[The two continue to say the word a few more times]

Rainbow Dash: Ooh, You're right, Gumball, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation. Hee hee!

Gumball: Heh, Oh, mine, too!

[both laugh]

Rainbow Dash and Gumball: Hahahaha!

Rainbow Dash: Hahahaha! It tingles when I laugh! Hahahaha!

[Rainbow Dash walks into the Crossover Restaurant the next day]

Rainbow Dash: Hello, customers, nice [censored beep sound] day we're having, huh?

[The customers stop eating and stare in shock]

Rouge The Bat: [gasps] Did….. did she just say?!

E-123 Omega: AFFIRMATIVE!! SHE DID!!!

Rainbow Dash: Hey, Gumball, how the [censored beep sound] are ya?

Gumball: [sitting at table at the Crossover Restaurant] Pretty [censored beep sound] good, Rainbow Dash.

Granny Smith: Yeesh, I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention.

Rainbow Dash: [taps on the microphone and speaks into it] Attention, customers, today's special is a [censored beep sound] Hamlogna Sandwich served in a greasy [censored beep sound] sauce and grilled to [censored beep sound] perfection.

[Vanilla the Rabbit covers Cream the Rabbit's ears and puts ear muffs on Cheese the Chao]

Rainbow Dash: And don't forget to ask us to [censored beep sound] the [censored beep sound] fries. It will be our [censored beep sound] pleasure.

[Harvey Beaks hears the intercom and a giant human ear pops out of his head; he pushes it back in]

Rainbow Dash: Hi, Harvey, how the [censored beep sound] are ya?

Gumball: Nice [censored beep sound] day we’re having, isn't it, Harvey?

Vambre Warrior: Oh my, I-I don't understand. Rainbow Dash's talented. She doesn't have to work blue.… Oh! Sorry, Yumi. [blushes]

Yumi Yoshimura: You know what, Vambre? You’re right! Let's go somewhere more family oriented. [Everyone leaves the Crossover Restaurant, grumbling in frustration]

Squidward: [chattering (variously and) inaudibly] I'm never eating here again.

Shadow The Hedgehog: [chattering (variously and) inaudibly] Those foul-mouth bottom feeders. They disgust us.

Rarity: [chattering (variously and) inaudibly] This is the worst restaurant ever!

[The Crossover Restaurant customer meter is running down; sirens wail and a red light flashes]

SwaySway: [in the bathroom, hears the sirens] Huh?! What’s this?

[SwaySway looks through the periscope, sees that the Crossover Restaurant is empty]

SwaySway: [gasps] Holy Guacamole O'l Rye! The Crossover Restaurant, She's empty!

[SwaySway runs to dining room with toilet paper stuck to one of his legs]

SwaySway: All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Harvey, where have all my money paying customers gone?!

Harvey Beaks: Well Apparently, the two sailor-mouth siblings just learned a new word, And Rainbow Dash just said it over the intercom.

SwaySway: Well, What was it? What did she say?

Harvey Beaks: Uh…. Erm, well... she said...um, well she said...

[Harvey Beaks whispers]

SwaySway: Huh?

[Harvey Beaks whispers it again]

SwaySway: Harvey, I can’t understand ya if you keep saying bzbzbzbzbzbzb….

Harvey Beaks: Oh! Sorry, SwaySway…. [whispers it again]

SwaySway: [gasps] Rainbow Dash and Gumball Watterson! Front and center!

[Rainbow Dash and Gumball unsteadily approached and run into SwaySway]

SwaySway: Why, I oughta make the two of you paint the Crossover Restaurant for using such dirty language!

Rainbow Dash: B-but, SwaySway. We were only using our sentence enhancers.

Gumball: Y-yeah, it's fancy talk.

SwaySway: There ain't nothing fancy about that word!

Rainbow Dash: You mean [censored beep sound]?

SwaySway: Yes, That one! [Rainbow Dash and Gumball stand up] Now quit saying that right now! [Rainbow Dash and Gumball frown] It's a bad word!

Rainbow Dash and Gumball: B-b-bad word?! Baaahh! Aahhh! Yaaahh! [both start wiping their tongues while moaning]

SwaySway: Yes siree, That's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.

Harvey Beaks: Don't you mean there are only 7?

SwaySway: Not if you're a sailor. [laughs] Heh heh….

Rainbow Dash: Wow, 13.

Gumball: That's a lot of [censored beep sound] bad words.

SwaySway: Okay, guys. I want you to promise me, you'll never use that word or any of the thirteen bad words ever again. Okay?

Rainbow Dash and Gumball: We promise, SwaySway.

[Later at Rainbow Dash's Cloudominium, Rainbow Dash and Gumball are playing Snakes and Escalators]

Rainbow Dash: Gee, I'm glad SwaySway told us that word we were using was a bad word!

Gumball: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us, such as ourselves, shouldn't further stain our lips with cursing.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, verily. Now, why don’t we, “classy sophisticates” play a nice, wholesome game of Snakes and Escalators?.

Gumball: Oh, boy! my favorite! [Flops arms up and down like a seal]

Rainbow Dash: Come on, Tank needs a new pair of shoes! [rolls the dice]

Gumball: Oh, snakes. Too bad, Rainbow Dash, you gotta ride the snake.

Rainbow Dash: Darn. [moves game piece to snake]

Gumball: My turn! [rolls dice] Hooray! Escalators! Yay! Woo! Yeah! [screams] Up, up, up!

Rainbow Dash: Come on, escalators, escalators, escalators! [rolls the dice] [sighs] Ugh, Snakes again.

Gumball: My turn! [rolls dice] Escalators! Woohoo!

Rainbow Dash: Come on! Escalators, Escalators, Escalators! [throws the dice] Eh?! Snakes?!

Gumball: [rolls dice] Es-skee-lators! [moves to escalators] Heh, Well, don’t mean to rub it in, but this is your last chance, Rainbow Dash, or if you get snakes again, you lose!

Rainbow Dash: [gets frustrated while rolling the dice] Grrgh! Escalators, escalators, escalators! Hyah! [dice is thrown and lands on escalators] ….. Hah! Escalators! Aw, yeah!

[but then the dice turn over to snakes]

Gumball: Snakes...

Rainbow Dash: Rrrgh…. RRGHHH!!!! BAHH, [censored beep sound]!!

[Rainbow Dash covers her mouth when she realizes her mistake]

Gumball: Ooooh! You said number 11!

Rainbow Dash: [babbles for Gumball to understand] No, no, I-I didn’t, I didn't mean... Y-you gotta understand, Gumball I was trying... er, what I meant to say was... uh-! some things just slip out. I-I mean, You gotta understand!

Gumball: Don't worry, Rainbow Dash, I understand. [pause] SWAYSWAY!!!!! [runs out the door] SwaySway! SwaySway! SwaySway!!!!!

[Gumball starts running to the Crossover Restaurant]

Rainbow Dash: [starts running after him] No, wait, Gumball! [after Rainbow Dash catches up to Gumball] Gumball, no, please don't tell!!!

Gumball: But, you said "[censored beep sound]"! [gasps when he realizes his mistake] Oh, no!

Rainbow Dash: Aha! Now I'm gonna tell SwaySway on you! Hyah! [starts flying]

Gumball: Not if I tell first!

Rainbow Dash: I can fly and you can't! [laughs] Ha!……….. eh, what?!

Gumball: [riding on the back of an ice cream truck] Heh, See ya at the Crossover Restaurant! Hahaha! [the truck turns at the wrong corner] Oh nooooo……!

[Rainbow Dash gets to The Crossover Restaurant]

Rainbow Dash: [laughs, opens the doors] SWAYSWAY, SWAYSWAY, SWAYSWAY!!!

SwaySway: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?!

Rainbow Dash: GUMBALL, GUMBALL, GUMBALL!!!

SwaySway: Yes, yes, yes?!

Rainbow Dash: He said, He said, He said-!

SwaySway: Out with it, Rainbow Dash!

Rainbow Dash: [talking fast] Me and Gumball were playing Snakes and Escalators, and Gumball was riding the escalator, and he was going up-up-up, and I had to ride the snake, and I was going down-down and then we ran and Gumball, he said some things….

SwaySway: Eh, What kind of things?

Rainbow Dash: Well, he said...

SwaySway: Yes?!

Rainbow Dash: [talking fast] Well, uh, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in the list of 13 words you said shouldn't be said!

SwaySway: Uh…. right, now what was that part about the, um…. who-what and the who-now?

Gumball: [walks in door of the Crossover Restaurant and eats an ice cream cone] Mmm, tasty! Now where was I…. oh yeah! [throws away the cone] SWAYSWAY, SWAYSWAY, SWAYSWAY!!!

SwaySway: [sighs] Aw, crummers.

Rainbow Dash and Gumball: He/She said that word that you said we shouldn't say and...

Rainbow Dash: ...number thirteen...

[They babble on about the word, as SwaySway stares on disapprovingly, until the two are just pointing at each other and yelling gibberish;]

Rainbow Dash and Gumball: Dadadadadadadada-!

[SwaySway eventually grabs their lips to quiet them.]

Rainbow Dash and Gumball: Mmm-mmm...!

SwaySway: Now I'm gonna let go of your lips! And when I do, I want you to calmly.... tell me what you need to tell me! understand?

Rainbow Dash and Gumball: Mmm-hmm...

SwaySway: Good. [SwaySway lets go of their lips, which initially deflate, then reinflate]

Rainbow Dash and Gumball: [they both point at each other again] He/She said "[censored beep sound]"!

SwaySway: [gasps] Do my ears deceive me?! You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash.

[SwaySway picks Rainbow Dash and Gumball up by their clothes and carries them outside the Crossover Restaurant]

SwaySway: You two need to be taught a lesson. I thought I made it clear. Never, and I mean, never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now I want both of you to wait right here. I'll be right back. [walks back in Crossover Restaurant]

Gumball: W-what's going to happen to us, Rainbow Dash?

Rainbow Dash: We'll probably get 40 lashes!

Gumball: Oh no! [fearfully imagines himself blinking with 40 thick eyelashes]

Rainbow Dash: I'm sorry, Gumball. SwaySway was right. There's no need for words like that.

Gumball: Aw, I'm sorry, too, Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: Let's make a vow, Gumball. From this day forth, a foul word shall never pass our lips again! We'll be good citizens, just like good ol' SwaySway.

Gumball: [shakes hands/hooves with Rainbow Dash] Agreed!

SwaySway: All right you two foul mouths! As punishment for fouling the air in my restaurant with your foul words, you're going to give the Crossover Restaurant a fresh coat of paint from top to bottom!

[SwaySway jams his duck foot on a rock then hops on one leg]

SwaySway: Hhhhh…. Hhhh….! '''YEEEEEEEOW!!!!!! OWCHEEWAWA!!!!!! OOH! OW! MY DUCK FOOT! WHAT KIND OF GENIUS PUTS A STUPID ROCK IN A QUAZY PATH?!?! CAN’T YOU SEE I GOT A DUCK FOOT HERE?!?! OH, CRUMMERS! OH, FEATHER LICKER! OH, OWCHEEWAWA!'''

''[SwaySway continues saying a bunch of crazy words. At this moment, Rainbow Dash and Gumball count the words he uses]''

Rainbow Dash: Five, six, seven...

SwaySway: A WHOLE LOTTA QUAZYNESS AND WITH A SIDE OF DUCK, A HEAPIN’ HELPIN’ OF BREAD-HEADS AND A BOATLOAD OF QUACKERS!...

Gumball: Nine...

'''SwaySway: OOH QUAZY FRICKIN' FEATHER LICKIN' CRUMMERS! OOH-HOO-UH!!!!!' [cries in pain]''

Rainbow Dash: [she and Gumball couldn't believe ther eyes] That's all thirteen, Gumball! [gasps] Ahem!

SwaySway: Uh…. [laughs nervously] It’s….. not what it looks like? heh heh.

Rainbow Dash: Oh, really? We're gonna tell your Parents on you, SwaySway!

SwaySway: [worried] No wait, Please! Not my Mom and Dad!

Rainbow Dash: C’mon, Gumball! Let’s go! [she flies on to SwaySway's Parents' house]

Gumball: [stupidly] And we’re gonna be looking in to your citizenship records, too! [starts running off with Rainbow Dash]

SwaySway: Wait, please! Come back-! Wait…. citizenship- what? Ugh…. come on, you guys! Don’t!

[Rainbow Dash and Gumball laugh as they run to SwaySway's Parents' house and SwaySway runs after them]

SwaySway: Wait! Please don't tell my Parents! I don't think there little old hearts can take it! Or worse, they'll ground me forever! Ohhh!

[They go to SwaySway's Parents' house]

Rainbow Dash and Gumball: [repeatedly banging on the door] SwaySway's Parents! SwaySway's Parents!

SwaySway's Dad: Why, hello there!. What brings you three to me and my wife's house?

[Rainbow Dash, Gumball and SwaySway all explain the situation at the same time, swearing numerous times as they do so]

Rainbow Dash: SwaySway's Parents, SwaySway said [censored beep sound] and then he said [censored beep sound] again and said [censored beep sound] and then he screamed at the top of his voice [censored beep sound]!

Gumball: It was terrible!

Rainbow Dash: And he-- [censored beep sounds] --SwaySway's Parents, he didn't care! Such a stream of [censored beep sound] I have never heard in my days!

SwaySway's Mom: [shocked] Oh, dear! My poor old heart!. [fainting]

SwaySway's Dad: [gasps] Oh no, Honey! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you?! [takes a coin out of her pocket] How dare you do this! You all should be ashamed! Making my wife faint with your sailor talk!

SwaySway's Mom: [wakes up] My Husband's right. You should all be ashamed. And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to work like sailors.

''[Then the three are painting SwaySway's Parents' house. Gumball is painting the ground]''

SwaySway's Dad: I guess you scallywags have earned a glass of lemonade. [laughs and stubs his foot on a rock] Hhhhh…. Hhhh….! YEEEEEEEOW!!!!!! OW!!!! MY [Klaxon horn] FOOT!!

[Rainbow Dash and Gumball gasp in shock]

SwaySway: [shocked] Father! Did you just say the bad word?!?!

SwaSway's Dad: What? It's Mr. Grouse and his jalopy.

Mr. Grouse: [driving by] Howdy, SwaySway's Father! [honks the horn]

[Finding the situation rather humorous, the four all let out a big laugh]

Rainbow Dash, Gumball, SwaySway, and SwaySway's Dad: [all laugh together] Hahahahahahaha!

THE END.