Unikitty! X SpongeBob Parody Accidents Will Happen

''[Transitions to the Happy Burger, which is surrounded by cars. In his office, Mr. Happy is checking his money records. He hears shouting from outside.]''

Mr. Happy: Hmmm. Sounds like a mutiny. [he goes outside and gasps] What the...?! [The restaurant is filled with customers shouting angrily] What the heck knickers is this?! [FeeBee grabs him]

FeeBee: Where's the dude in the cash register, man? ''Where's the dude in the cash register?! ''

Mr. Happy: Ooooh! You mean Master Frown. [he turns and points] Well, he's at his post right over the... [the cash register is empty] Where's me cashier?! ''[He looks down at FeeBee, who's still holding her arm. She glares at him, and pulls her arm away. Mr. Happy bursts into the kitchen]'' Unikitty! Where in the heaven's pantyhose is that sorry excuse for a cashier?!

Unikitty: Sorry excuse for a cash-?" Ooh! You mean Master Frown.

Mr. Happy: [sighs] Yes. I mean Master Frown. Where is he?!

Unikitty: He's in the storage room. Says he's working on something requiring... [in a whisper] ...complete privacy.

Mr. Happy: Ooh. He requires, privacy does he? ''[the sound of a chain snapping is heard, followed by a loud crash. Unikitty and Mr. Happy burst into the storage room]'' What's all the ruckus?! ''[A shelf has partially collapsed, and there are buns scattered in a heap all over the floor. Master Frown emerges from the pile, rubbing his head and groaning. Mr. Happy gasps]'' Oh no! Please, no! This is terrible! [he bursts into tears] Are you hurt?

Master Frown: Oh, well. Thank you for ask-

Mr. Happy: I wasn't talking to you! [He picks up some of the buns] Don't worry, papa's here. [he bursts into tears again]

Master Frown: Mr. Happy? ''[Mr. Happy continues sobbing]'' Mr. Happy! ''[Mr. Happy sobs even louder]'' Mr. Happy! [he stops sobbing] Your shelf collapsed on me, and I twisted my ankle! [He lifts up his leg, which is badly twisted] 

Mr. Happy: I didn't even know you had ankles.

Master Frown: As if working here wasn't bad enough, now I've been injured on the job.

Mr. Happy: Injured? On the job?! Oh no! That would mean...

Unikitty: It's all right here, Mr. Happy. ''[Mr. Happy turns and looks as Unikitty moves some boxes aside to reveal a poster with "OSH" written on it]'' The Unikingdom OSH Office Security Health Guidelines. Let's see, it says here...blah blah blah blah, accident... blah blah blah blah, owner negligence... blah blah blah blah, substantial fines.

Mr. Happy: Substantial fines?! [he turns back to Master Frown, laughing nervously] You know, Master Frown... uh... I can't really let the OSH hear about this, you know. ''[laughs nervously. Master Frown smirks]''

Master Frown: Really? Maybe I should give them a call! [picks up a phone]

Mr. Happy: Now now, Master Frown! [laughs nervously] Let's not be hasty! [Master Frown puts down the phone] I'll take care of your poor little ankle personally. [he turns around] Unikitty! Master Frown needs first aid! [Unikitty looks delighted]

Unikitty: First aid? Fear not, injured co-worker, [she runs over to Master Frown, now wearing a hospital hat and jacket and a stethoscope] for I am certified.

Master Frown: Oh, no no no, don't touch me! [Unikitty grabs Master Frown's chest and runs her stethoscope over it] Unikitty, would you mind letting go of my chest?

Unikitty: Oh, sure. [she lets go of Master Frown's chest, and he falls to the ground hard] 

Master Frown: Ow!

Unikitty: Whoops sorry Frownie!

Master Frown: [takes the end of Unikitty's stethoscope and shouts into the end of it] Get away from me! [Unikitty shakes from the yell and hits her eardrums to make it stop] Well, this is it! I am reporting you to the OSH!

Mr. Happy: [screams] Please don't report me to the OSH! I'll do anything. Anything at all ya ask.

Master Frown: Hmm? Anything? [cuts to scene where Mr. Happy lays Master Frown down]

Mr. Happy: Now if you want anything, just ask. [laughs nervously then walks away]

Master Frown: I could sure use a pillow. ''[Mr. Happy comes back to Master Frown with a pillow. He places the pillow on Master Frown's back]''

Master Frown: And one more for my leg.

Mr. Happy: Well, sure thing. [comes back with another pillow which is placed under Master Frown's twisted leg] Okay, if that's all, I'll just get back to me--

Master Frown: Fluff it.

Mr. Happy: [angered] What did you say?!

Master Frown: I said, "fluff it."

Mr. Happy: [mocking tone] Fluff my pillow, I'll fluff your pillow. ''[Mr. Happy angrily fluffs the pillow for Master Frown]''

Master Frown: [angered] What's that?

Mr. Happy: Oh, uh, I said, uh, will there be anything else, Mr. Frown?

Master Frown: [relaxes on his pillow] No thanks. That should do it. ''[Mr. Happy walks away]'' Oh, Mr. Happysy!

Mr. Happy: [irritated tone] What can I do for you?

Master Frown: Just one more thing. I'm afraid you'll have to take over for me today.

Mr. Happy: What?! No!

Master Frown: Oh, that's too bad. It looks like my twisted ankle might become a 'permanent injury.'

Mr. Happy: [cringes] Well, that would be an even bigger fine. You just sit back down and relax. We don't want you being injured any further. [chuckles nervously, then walks away] That was close. Well, at least the Happy Burger isn't very busy today. [customers chanting] Of course. [cuts to scene where Unikitty holds a clipboard.]

Unikitty: Oh, Mr. Happy, I have the OSH accident report form to fill out. Let's see, Question 1: Was the accident the result of criminal negligence? ''[Mr. Happy screams]'' Mr. Happy, what is criminal negligence?

Mr. Happy: [takes the clipboard from Unikitty] It's what criminals wear to bed. Don't worry about that. We don't need to bother those nice folks over at the OSH. We can do our own investigation.

Unikitty: Oh, you mean we should find out if you're criminally negligent.

Mr. Happy: Well, no, not exactly, what I mean is... [leans towards Unikitty and whispers] I think Master Frown is hiding something, and I want you to investigate.

Unikitty: Yes, sir, Mr. Happy...

Mr. Happy: Shhhh. [whispering] You gotta keep it a secret from Master Frown.

Unikitty: Can do, Mr. Happy.

[Cuts to scene where Unikitty tries to figure out the cause of the accident]

Unikitty: Hmm? Huh? If I'm gonna get to the bottom of this, I'm gonna need some help. [Cuts to scene where Puppycorn is shown] Okay, you stand here... [places Puppycorn next to the shelf, then places a few buns on top] Now, pretend you're Master Frown and reach for a bun. [Puppycorn does so] And I'll simulate the shelf hitting Master Frown. [slams the shelf into Puppycorn, who screams and stumbles around, dizzy, before falling over] Hmm, we seem to be missing something. Well, we'll have to do it again.

Puppycorn: Uhh, do what again? [cut to outside of the scene] Ow!

Unikitty: Darn, one more time.

Puppycorn: Ow! ''[cuts to scene where Master Frown relaxes on the Happy Burger's roof. Mr. Happy comes to the roof with a tea kit in his hand]''

Master Frown: Oh, Mr. Happysy, after tea, I think a full foot massage would be an order.

Mr. Happy: I ain't touching your feet with a 10-ft...

Master Frown: [on phone] Hello, Office Security Health Department.... ''[Mr. Happy screams then jumps at Master Frown ripping the phone out of his hand, then eats it.]''

Mr. Happy: [chuckles nervously] I'll go get the massage oil now. [runs inside; cut to the storage room] Unikitty, ya got anything?

Unikitty: Not yet, Mr. Happy. ''[Mr. Happy groans; takes a bucket of fry grease]''

Master Frown: [clearing throat] I'm waiting!

Mr. Happy: Coming!

Unikitty: This just isn't adding up.

Puppycorn: [sits up looking bruised and bandaged] Pudding?

Unikitty: We must be missing something. Puppycorn, we're going to need help even more expert than you. [cut to inside the Happy Burger, where Mr. Happy massages Master Frown's legs and feet using the fry grease]

Ryott: Um, hello? Anybody here?

Mr. Happy: [angered, muttering] Oh, for the love of peat moss.

Ryott: Anybody at all? Hmm, maybe they're on their lunch bre-- ''[Mr. Happy reaches into Ryott's pocket, pulling out the money, walks into the kitchen to prepare a Uniburger, then comes out to present a Uniburger covered in fry grease]''

Ryott: Um, aren't you gonna wash your...... ''[Mr. Happy shoves the greasy Uniburger into Ryott's mouth; Ryott groans in pain as he holds his stomach. Mr. Happy returns to pampering Master Frown by continuing to massage his legs and feet]''

Mr. Happy: How long do I have to keep this up?

Master Frown: Oh, it's gonna be a long, slow recovery. Time to prick my back pimples. ''[Mr. Happy screams as Master Frown's back pimples are shown, Mr. Happy starts to pricking the pimples on Master Frown's back off-screen and then he cries.]''

Cookie Guy: Ew! That's disgusting!

Bee Kite: Yeah, Let's get out of here!

''[The customers leave the restaurant muttering in anger. The OSH Manager comes in] ''

OSH Manager: Unikingdom Office Security Health Department. I'm here to investigate the accident.

Mr. Happy: [gasps] Oh, no!

Master Frown: [sitting up] Oh, yes!

Mr. Happy: Master Frown, after all I've done for you, you've called the OSH?!

Unikitty: He didn't call them, Mr. Happy, we did. I needed help investigating the accident. Right, Puppycorn?

Puppycorn: [even more bruised and bandaged] Uh, breakfast, green, Finland.

Master Frown: Well I, for one, plan to give him my full cooperation. [seen in a wheelchair with casts around his head, his arm, and one of his legs] Anything I can do, inspector? [smiles at Mr. Happy, who fumes with anger; cuts to the next scene where Unikitty, Puppycorn, Master Frown, Mr. Happy and the OSH Manager they all investigate the accident]

OSH Manager: So, this is where the accident occurred. Can anyone tell me what happened?

Master Frown: I'll be glad to... [in despair] I mean, I can re-live the whole tragic episode, if I must. [struggles to get up from the wheelchair] [flashback begins] It was just another day at the Happy Burger. I was at the register, giving it a nice shining between orders, when something caught my eye; a Uniburger bun with 10 seeds, instead of 11. I wasn't about to stand idly by and allow a customer go without all her guaranteed nutrients and vitamins. "I must replace it with a proper bun!", I said. I dashed into action.

Master Frown: Excuse me, ma'am.

Really Old Edith: What a diligent and charming individual.

Master Frown: That's when I entered the back room to grab a new bun. Just as I was about to reach for one, I heard a slight creek. And that's when the chain snapped... and then, slam! My heroic and brave actions were halted by an unsafe shelf. Disoriented and in pain, I collapsed and laid for nearly six hours crying softly for help. [cries and then, flashback ends] And the worst part, though, is...is that I didn't get that kind lady her new bun.

OSH Manager: Hmmm, I see. [to Mr. Happy] As you know, certain penalties are involved...

Mr. Happy: Oh, no...

OSH Manager: [types in random numbers while Mr. Happy cries] One... Dollar.

Mr. Happy: [gasps, blinking, wild sobbing, train bell dings] No! Why?! Why?! Why?! Huh? [scene zooms out to reveal a surveillance camera] What's this? Hold on a second. Me video surveillance camera!

Master Frown: [shocked] What?!

Mr. Happy: I forgot. I, uh, um, borrowed that from the airport. Now, let's see what really happened here. ''[Mr. Happy comes back with the recording tape and the TV from the surveillance. Master Frown is seen walking towards the bun shelf, but what he does is sleep on it. The chain immediately breaks and Master Frown falls unharmed under the buns. Mr. Happy gasps, then turns to Master Frown furiously pointing at him.]'' You... f-f-f-f-f-faker! Not to mention you were sleeping on the job! [sighs deeply, forcing Master Frown to the ground]

Master Frown: What are you going to do to me?

Mr. Happy: I'm gonna make you pay!

Master Frown: Oh, no! ''[cuts to scene where Mr. Happy gets pampered. Mr. Happy sighs. Master Frown gasps. When Master Frown starts to prick some of the pimples on Mr. Happy back, he screams in sorrow.]''