Unikitty! The Movie A Simpsons Parody

(2021 Warner Bros. Pictures logo (bylineless version))

(Bugs Bunny stands up in front of the logo as the fanfare ends, and we zoom out to reveal its in a movie theater where all WB characters are watching a Warner Bros. movie)

Bugs Bunny: Ugh! This movie is so boring already!

Dr. Fox: Bugs, we can't see the movie!

Bugs Bunny: I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free. If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker. Especially you!

[Bugs pointing to the viewer.]

[The opening scene appear] 

''[In Unikingdom Lake are Green Day playing Unikitty! Theme and the crowd cheers. Robin the Blue Monster is carried but is released into the ground.]''

Robin the Blue Monster: Excuse me. My heinie is dipping.

[The music ends.]

Billie Joe: All right, well, thanks a lot for coming. We've been playing for three and a half hours. Now we'd like just a minute of your time to say something about the environment.

[Silence occurs and the crowd throwing bottles at them and boo them.]

Man: Oh, you suck! Shut up and play!

Burger Person: Preachy!

Mike: We're not being preachy.

Tré Cool: But the pollution in your lake, it's dissolving our barge.

Dr. Fox: I thought they touched on a vital issue.

Beatsby: I beg to differ.

[Throws a rock and hits tre cool]

Mike: Gentlemen, it's been an honor playing with you tonight.

''[Green Day starts playing and the barge sinks. Dr. Fox looks worried. On Sesame Street a funeral version of "American Idiot" is playing.]''

Alert Siren: For the latest rock band to die in this kingdom Lord, hear our prayer.

The group: Lord, hear our prayer.

[Outside the church are Unikitty and her gang coming.]

Dr. Fox: I hate being late.

Hawkodile: Well, I hate going. Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way, by praying like hell on my deathbed?

Dr. Fox: Hawkodile, they can hear you inside.

Hawkodile: Relax. Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phony-baloney God.

''[The Gang coming in and the audience staring at them. The Gang goes and sits down.]''

Hawkodile: How you doing? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.

[Puppycorn plays Baby Blast''. Unikitty takes out the game card.]''

Alert Siren: Today I'd like to try something a little different. I'm going to call on one of you!

[Alert Siren points to the audience, they all cower down in fear, Kickflip screams.]

Alert Siren: Now, the word of God dwells within everyone. I want you to let that word out. Let your spirit...

[Dino Dude raises his hand.]

Dino Dude: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh

Alert Siren: [unhappily] What is it, Dino?

Dino Dude: The good Lord is telling me to confess to something.

[Master Frown keeps fingers crossed and whispers.]

Master Frown: Gay, gay, gay, gay.

Dino Dude: An immodest sense of pride in our community.

Alert Siren: [annoyed] Somebody else? Let the Lord's light shine upon you. Feel the spirit. Let it out!

[Richard is sleeping and wakes up when the sun hits his head and gets up and acts weird.]

Richard: Horrible, horrible things are going to happen! [Sssnake is filming that with his cell phone.] And they're gonna happen to you! And you! And you! And you. Whoa, Nelly! People of Unikingdom, heed this warning: Twisted tail! A thousand eyes! Trapped forever!

Unikitty: Hawkodile, do something!

[Hawkodile flicks through the "Holy Bible".]

Hawkodile: This book doesn't have any answers!

Richard: [yelling, slowly] Beware! Beware! Time is short! EPA!! EPA!!! EEEEEEPAAAAAA!!!!!!! Believe me! Believe me! [cheerfully] Thanks for listening.

[The Gang goes out the church with Richard rolled in a rug and go to the car.]

Hawkodile: Okay, who wants waffles?

Unikitty/Puppycorn/Richard: I do, I do, I do!

Dr. Fox: Wait a minute. What about Richard?

Puppycorn: I want syrup!

Unkitty: I want strawberries!

Dr. Fox: Something happened to that man

Hawkodile: I'll tell you what happened to him. A certain someone had a senior moment. But that's okay, because we love him and we got a free rug out of it.

[Hawkodile kisses Richard on the forehead.]

Dr. Fox: What is the point of going to church every Sunday when if someone we love has a genuine religious experience, we ignore it? Right, Richard?

Richard: I want bananas on my waffles!

Hawkodile: I rest my case

[The Gang arrives, Dr. Fox goes out of the car first and then the others except Richard.]

Dr. Fox: I'm not dropping this.

Richard: Wait a minute, I'm still in the car.

Hawkodile: Oh, right (and he opened the window a little bit)

''[Unikitty looks at her list of chores. She ticks off "Go to church" and looks at "Take out the hornets' Nest".]''

Unikitty: Hmm Take out hornets' nest.

[Unikitty takes down the hornets' nest and put it in Master Frown's mailbox.]

Unikitty: Check. Fix sinkhole.

[Unikitty is in the garden and put the sandbox and Pet Pet over the sinkhole.]

Unikitty: Check. Re-shingle roof?

[Unikitty and Puppycorn are on the ceiling and Unkitty tries to repair the roof.]

Unikitty: Steady. Steady.

[Unikitty gets the hammer in the eye and Puppycorn laughs.]

Unikitty: (turns red into Angry Kitty) Why you little! I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny! (turns pink again)

[Unikitty tickles Puppycorn.]

Puppycorn: (giggles) You know, we are on the roof. We could have some fun.

Unikitty: What kind of fun?

Puppycorn: How about a dare contest?

Unikitty: That sounds fun. I dare you to climb the TV antenna!

[Puppycorn climbs up to the antenna]

Puppycorn: Piece of cake.

Unikitty: Earthquake!

[Unikitty shakes the TV antenna so Puppycorn falls down and hangs on the drainpipe.]

Unikitty: Aftershock!

[Unikitty shakes again.]

Dino Dude: Unikitty, I don't mean to be a Nervous Pervis but if he falls, couldn't that make your Brother a paraplege-arino?

Unikitty: Shut up, Dino Dude

Puppycorn: Yeah, shut up, Dino Dude

Unikitty: Well said, Little bro

[Unikitty and Puppycorn high five and Unikitty prepares to hammer Puppycorn's fingers.]

Unikitty: Steady. Steady. Steady..

[She falls through the roof and Puppycorn laughs.]

''[Dr. Fox is in the neighborhood, knocking on doors to talk about Unikingdom Lake. However, every time she is denied.]''

Dr Fox: Hello. Sorry to bother you on a Sunday but I'm sure you're as worried about the pollution in Lake Unikingdom as I am. Lake Unikingdom has higher levels of mercury than ev...

Woman: Why, it's the little scientist l who saved my cat.

Dr Fox: Lake Unikingdom—

[Dr Fox sighs.]

Robin: Come on over, Dr Fox. You can canvass me as long as you want.

Dr Fox: Robin, you don't care about the environment.

Robin: Hey! I am very passionate about the planet.

Master Frown: [threatening to punch Robin] Say global warming is a myth.

Robin: It's a myth! Further study is needed!

[Master Frown knocks down Robin.]

Master Frown: That's for selling out your beliefs!

[Dr fox goes to console him but quickly notices someone else to talk about the environment.]

Dr Fox: Oh, poor old Robin.

Robert: Are you aware that a leaky facet can waste over—

Dr Fox: Two thousand gallons a year?

Robert: Turning off lights can save—

Dr Fox: Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.

Robert: And if we kept our thermostats at 68 in winter—

Dr Fox: We'd be free from our dependency on foreign oil in 17 years!

Robert: I'm Robert, the Purple Monster

Dr Fox: I haven't seen you at the lab.

Robert: Moved from Ireland. My dad's a musician.

Dr Fox: Is he...?

Robert: He's not Bono.

Dr Fox: I just thought, because you're Irish and...

Robert: He's not Bono.

Dr Fox: Do you play?

Robert: Just piano, guitar, trumpet, drums and bass. And also the saxophone,

Dr Fox: [thinking] He's pure gold. For once in your life. be cool.

Robert: So is your name as pretty as your face?

[Dr Fox gets embarrassed and faints.]

Robert: You okay there?

[Hawkodile watch the recording as Sssnake did and write down what Richard said.]

Richard: [in video] Twisted tail! A thousand eyes! Trapped forever!!! EPA!!! EPA!!!

Hawkodile: EPA? What could that be?

Sssnake: I believe it's the sound the Green Lantern made when Sinestro threw him into a vat of acid. E-P-A!

Hawkodile: Yeah. Thanks for coming over.

Sssnake: Thanks for giving me your Boxing Gloves. Never known comfort like this.

''[Out in the garden, Puppycorn is shooting Unikitty with a BB gun while Unikitty carries around bricks. A WB commercial appears at the bottom.]''

Unikitty: Why did I suggest this?

[Timer rings.]

Unikitty: All right, bro, time for the ultimate dare. I dare you to skateboard to Happy Burger and back... [Puppycorn picks up his skateboard] naked.

Puppycorn: How naked?

Unikitty: Fourth base.

Puppycorn: Girls might see my doodle.

Unikitty: Oh, I see. Then I hereby declare you chicken for life. Every morning, you'll wake up to Good morning, chicken. At your wedding, I'll sing:

[Unikitty sings Here Comes the Bride'' with chicken voice. Puppycorn sets off through town on his skateboard naked. The last note Unikitty sings in the chicken song has its pitch raised as Unikitty sees 'Puppycorn' .]''

Rascal: I like men now.

[Really Old Edith urges residents not to look at Puppycorn's penis.]

Really Old Edith: Don't look where I'm pointing!

[The Action police see that Puppycorn is naked and start to chase him.]

Male Action Police: Stop in the name of American squeamishness!

''[The Female Action Police fires a shot. It hits the wheel of Puppycorn's skateboard. The skateboard comes to a halt and Puppycorn flies off thrugh the air. The scene switches to Green Dad, Green Mom and Nostromoo eating at Happy Burger.]''

Green Dad: My family, before we eat, don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountiful...

[Puppycorn flies on to the window, with Green Dad's french fry covering his penis.]

Green Dad: ...Penis!

Green Mom/Nostromoo: Bountiful penis.

Nostromoo: Amen.

[Two Action Police scrape Puppycorn's body off the window of Happy Burger.]

Female Action Police: Listen, kid, nobody likes wearing clothes in public, but, you know, it's the law.

[The Female Action Police takes Puppycorn down from the window and straps him naked to a lamp-post.]

Male Action Police: Lunchtime!

Puppycorn: You can't just leave me out here.

Male Action Police: Don't worry, we found a friend for you to play with.

Master Frown: Ha ha! Ha ha!

[It becomes evening, and Master Frown starts to get tired of laughing.]

Master Frown: Ha ha... Haa... ha.

[Brock walks up to Master Frown.]

Brock: Master Frown, My pal, Where have you been? [he sees Puppycorn] Ha ha! Ha ha!

[Unikitty's gang drives up to Happy Burger in her car.]

Puppycorn: Unikitty!

Unikitty: What seems to be the problem, officers?

Puppycorn: Tell him you dared me to do it.

Male Action Police: If that's true, then you should be taking the rap here, not your little brother. 

[Unikitty's gang comes out of the car.]

Unikitty: [slowly] And what happens to me if it's my fault?

Male Action Police: You'll have to attend a one-hour parenting class.

Unikitty: It was all his idea! He's out of control, I tell you! [pretends to cry] I'm at my wits' end. It's so....

[Puppycorn glares.]

Male Action Police: See you in court, kid.

Unikitty: Okay, guys, let's get some lunch.

Puppycorn: Did you at least bring my clothes?

[Unikitty gives him his shirt and socks.]

Unikitty: Shirt, socks, everything you need.

Puppycorn: You didn't bring my pants!

Unikitty: Who am I, Tommy Bahama?

Puppycorn: This is the worst day of my life.

Unikitty: The worst day of your life so far.

[Unikitty's gang go into the Happy Burger.]

Dino Dude: Say, Puppycorn?

Puppycorn: What do you want, Dino Dude?

Dino Dude: If you need pants, I carry an extra pair. You know how boys are, always praying through the knees.

[Dino Dude gives him pants.]

Puppycorn: Why are you helping me? I'm not your kid.

Dino Dude: We're neighbors. I'm sure your sister would do the same for my sons.

[Unikitty steals french fries from Dino Dude.]

Unikitty: Thank you.

[Unikitty eats a hamburger noisily.]

Unikitty: Hey, what's with you?

''[As she asks, she accidently spits on Puppycorn. Puppycorn wipes it off, annoyed.]''

Puppycorn: You really wanna know?

Unikitty: Of course I do. What kind of a father wouldn't care about... [Hawkodile sees a pig wearing a chef hat] ...

Hawkodile: Hey guys look, a pig wearing a hat!

''[Mr. Happy is starring in a commercial, holding a burger.]''

Director: Action.

Mr. Happy: Hey, hey! It's your old pal Mr. Happy, with my new pork sandwich, the Klogger. lf you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico!

''[Mr. Happy laughs and munches on the hamburger.]''

Director: And we're clear.

''[Mr. Happy spits out the hamburger.]''

Mr. Happy: Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.

''[A knife is raised to the pig. It squeals.] ''

Hawkodile: What...?! You can't kill him if he's wearing people clothes!

[The song Happy Together plays and Hawkodile imagines his life with the pig.]

Hawkodile: You're coming home with me.

[In the kitchen Bittersweet plays Baby Blast.]

Dr. Fox: A thousand eyes. What could that be?

Richard: I'm pretty sure a thousand is a number.

''[Hawkodile comes in and shows after a while the pig. Dr. Fox looks at the words as she wrote down as Richard said in the church.]''

Hawkodile: Hey, Dr. Fox Isn't it great being married to someone who's recklessly impulsive?

Dr. Fox: Actually, it's aged me horribly.

Hawkodile: Then say hello to the newest pet.

Dr. Fox: Hawkodile! I believe what happened in church was a warning about precisely this. Please, get rid of that pig.

Hawkodile: Oh, you're gonna love him. Look, he does an impression of you.

[The Pig screams.]

Hawkodile: You nailed her. He also does me.

''[Dr. Fox laughing.]''

Hawkodile: You smiled. I'm off the hook.

[Hawkodile is in Puppycorn's room and chambers the pig's hair, outside are Puppycorn and looking on them.]

Hawkodile: Oh, you have so many looks.

[Puppycorn sighs and she Dino Dude put to sleep his children.]

Puppycorn: So that's what snug is.

Hawkodile: Who's a good pig?

[Hawkodile makes fart sounds on the pig's stomach.]

Hawkodile: Who's a good pig?

[Puppycorn is aiming his slingshot against Hawkodile, but stops when he hears Dino Dude some are by the window.]

Dino Dude: Rough day, huh, son?

Puppycorn: You don't know what rough is, sister.

Dino Dude: Puppycorn, you know, whenever my boys bake up a batch of frownies I take them fishing. Does your bodyguard ever take you fishing?

[Puppycorn thinks of when he was fishing with Hawkodile.]

Puppycorn: Hawkodile, it's not fair to use a bug zapper to catch the fish.

Hawkodile: If you love fish like I do, you want them to die with dignity.

[Hawkodile stops an electrician fly trap in the water and the fish float to the surface.]

Hawkodile: I think I have a nibble. [eats a fish then gets electrocuted]

Puppycorn: I think fishing might be more fun with you.

Dino Dude: Oh, great. Now, how about I fix you some cocoa?

Puppycorn: No way. Cocoa's for wusses.

Dino Dude: Well, sir, if you change your mind, it's on the windowsill.

[When Dino Dude went off takes Puppycorn the mug with cocoa that Dino Dude did and eats it in the garden.]

Puppycorn: Oh, my God.

[Unikitty cleans the floor in the hallway and then sees that it is dirty on the ceiling.]

Dr. Fox: Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the best part. He loves the environment. Oh, wait! I still didn't tell you the best part. He's got an Irish brogue. No, no, wait! I still didn't tell you the best part. He's not imaginary! 

Unikitty: Of course! And the very best thing is that he listens to everyone in the Unikingdom!

Richard: [flies in] Princess, maybe you should get rid of more of the pig tracks.

Dr. Fox: Wait. Why are there pig tracks on the ceiling?

[Hawkodile let the pig go in the ceiling.]

Hawkodile: Spider-Pig. Spider-Pig. Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. Can he swing from a web? No. he can't. he's a pig Look out. He is the Spider-Pig.

[Puppycorn and Dino Dude are fishing.]

Puppycorn: Are we having fun yet?

Dino Dude: We are now. You've got a bite.

Puppycorn: Whoa, mama!

[Puppycorn drops the pole and Puppycorn begins to strangle himself.]

Dino Dude: Oh, no, my good pole!