Barbara And Jessica's Night Shift A SpongeBob Parody.

ANOTHER FANFICTION USING THE CHARACTERS FROM DC SUPER HERO GIRLS 2019 SERIES
Narrator: Ah, Burrito Bucket's. Metropolis' premiere daytime eatery. Where it will be closing time right about...

Jessica: [talks cheerfully as he switches the "Open" sign to "Closed"] Now! 8:00! Finally i can rest, [holds up a placard] Tomorrow i have a protest in the... [an unnamed citizen shows up at the door and knocks on it, Jessica drops the placard] What do you want?

Random Citizen: Are you open?

Jessica: [points to the sign] Read the sign.

Random Citizen: [ignores her] I'll have a Triple Burrito Deluxe and a double chili french fries.

Jessica: No, you won't! We are closed! I can't hang out here all night! I've got a life!

Random Citizen: Well, fine, if you don't want my money!

Shane: [says cheerfully] Money?! [Shane runs at the door] You mean, if we stayed open later, you'd give us your money?

Random Citizen: [pulls out cash; and some people appear behind him] Sure!

Shane: Miss Jessica, [tears up the "Closed" sign] welcome to the night shift. From now on, the Burrito Bucket is open 24 hours a day.

Jessica: [backs away] What!? [crowd of customers barge in cheering and tramples Jessica]

Barbara: Wow! Now we never have to stop working!

Jessica: [gets up] 24 hours? Really?! Mr. Shane, you can't be serious!

Shane: See ya in the morning, girls! I can't hang out here all night! I've got a life! [leaves]

Jessica: B-b-but Mr. Shane? [slaps her head and groans] Ugh you gotta be kidding me!

Barbara: Isn't this great, Jess?! Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours and then the sun'll come up and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working! [gasps] It'll be just like a sleepover! Only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease! [jumps on cash register counter] Are you ready to rock, Jess?!

Jessica: No.

Barbara: Good! 'Cause we've got customers! [jumps through the window above the register, into the kitchen]

Jessica: [muttering to herself] Why i accept working at here? This is the terrible mistake that i made! [walks to the cash register, a customer walks up to counter; Jessica hands him a baseball bat] Here. Please hit me as hard as you can.

Barbara: Pst, Jess. I'm working in the kitchen [laughs] at night!

Jessica: [takes hat off; leans head on counter] Don't hold back.

Barbara: [cuts to Barbara in the kitchen chopping a ball of lettuce] Hey, Jess. Guess what? I'm chopping lettuce...at night. [cuts to Barbara in the bathroom wiping it clean with two sponges on her feet] Look at me, I'm swabbing the bathroom...at night. ''[cuts to Barbara at the grill picking up her knife. She misses the knife and hits the grill; screams]'' Owwwwwwww!!!!!!!! I burned my hand!...at night. [cuts to Barbara near to Jessica in the counter, singing to the tune of Charge annoying her] Night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, na-na-na-na-night! Night!

Jessica: Will you please?! Here, [hands Barbara a bag of garbage] give me a moment's peace and take out the trash!

Barbara: All right! [takes bag from Jessica] Taking out the trash. Taking out the trash at ni— [stops at the door and stares at the dumpster outside in the dark] You mean outside?

Jessica: That's where the dumpster is, yes.

Barbara: I don't know, Jessica, [leans face against window] it's kinda dark out there.

Jessica: But I thought you liked the night shift.

Barbara: You're right! [lifts bag over her head] For the Burrito Bucket! ''[runs out of the building to the dumpster, screaming and panicking the whole way; throws the trash in the dumpster. reenters the building panting heavily. She snaps her fingers and confidently says]'' Piece of cake!

Jessica: So you're not afraid?

Barbara: [walking past Jessica] Pfft, nah.

Jessica: Well I am. Especially after, [looks around, gulps] well, you know.

Barbara: [stops and turns around] What? What do I know?

Jessica: You don't remember? It was all over the news.

Barbara: Tell me, tell me!

Jessica: No, no, no, I probably shouldn't. It would ruin the night shift for you. [gives a sympathetic look, then smiles slyly]

Barbara: [excitedly] What happened, what happened, what happened!?

Jessica: You mean you've never heard the story of the [thinks] "Hash-Slinging Slasher?"

Barbara: [a little confused] The Slash-Bringing Hasher?

Jessica: The Hash-Slinging Slasher!

Barbara: The Sash-Ringing, the Trash-Singing, Mash-Flinging, The Flash-Springing, Ringing, The Cr-Crash-Dinging, daa.

Jessica: Yes. The Hash-Slinging Slasher. But, most people just call him The Ha---[breaks into scream] because that's all they have time to say before he gets them!

Barbara: [begging] Tell me the story!

Jessica: Years ago at this very restaurant, the Hash-Slinging Slasher used to be a burrito chef - just like you - only clumsier. And then, one night, when he was cutting the tomatoes ...it happened.

Barbara: He forgot the secret sauce?

Jessica: No.

Barbara: He didn't wash his hands?

Jessica: No!

Barbara: Irregular portions?

Jessica: No! He cut off his own hand by mistake.

Barbara: You mean like this? [pulls one of her arms out of socket, another one grows back in its place] Or like this?

Jessica: [surprised and confused] Huh? How are you doing that?

Barbara: [pulls it again, another one grows back] Or this? [does it again] Or this? [does it again] But what about this? Or this, or this, or this, or...

Jessica: [speechless] Oookey... Except he wasn't like you!

Barbara: [ask with all her extra hands creating a rainbow-like line] So?

Jessica: So it didn't grow back!

Barbara: [screams] Oh, no! [all her extra arms lift their hands upwards and run away]

Jessica: And he replaced his hand with a kitchen knife. [holds up a knife] And then, he got hit by a bus! And...at his funeral, they fired him! So now, every...what day is it?

Barbara: Tuesday.

Jessica: Tuesday night, his ghost returns to the Burrito Bucket to wreak his horrible vengeance.

Barbara: [gasps] But tonight's Tuesday night!

Jessica: Then he'll be coming.

Barbara: How will we know?

Jessica: There are three signs that signal the approach of the Hash-Slinging Slasher. First, the lights will flicker on and off. Next...

Woman: [interrupts] Hey, can I have some ketchup?

Jessica: Oh, here you go. [hands her ketchup] Next, the phone will ring and there will be nobody there. [shows Barbara biting her fingernails] And finally, the Hash-Slinging Slasher arrives in the ghost of the bus that ran him over. [Barbara shakes in fear] Then he exits the bus and crosses the street without looking both ways because he's already dead! [Barbara eats french fries in fear] Then he taps on the window with his kitchen knife hand..

Barbara: No!

Jessica: He opens the door ''[pushes her arm to Barbara's face, making it looking like she's a door that's being opened; while doing this she imitates the sound of a squeaky door opening. leans towards Barbara's face, Barbara gulps]'' He slowly approaches the counter! ["counter" echoes menacingly] ...And you know what he does next?

Barbara: What?

Jessica: You really want to know?

Barbara: What?

Jessica: Are you sure you want to know?

Barbara: What, what, what does he do?!

Jessica: [sneaks up on Barbara, taps her] He gets ya! [Barbara screams for about 20 seconds while Jessica is laughing] Barbara... [screaming continues] Barbara I wa... [screaming continues] I was ju... [screaming continues] I was jus... [screaming continues] Barbara that's enough, I was joking!

Barbara: What?

Jessica: It's not true! None of it's true

Barbara: It's not?

Jessica: Of course not. Nobody has a knife for a hand. It was all a joke.

Barbara: Ohhhhh. [starts laughing, much to Jessica's annoyance.]

Jessica: [sighs] It's gonna be a long night. ''[cuts into later in the night. Shows Burrito Bucket with a big sign that says 'Open Forever']''

''[Jessica is shown at the counter reading a book. Jessica hears spooky noises and feels water dripping on her but she doesn't know what it is.]''

Barbara: [on the ceiling wearing suction cups cleaning the roof with a mop and a bucket] Isn't this great, Jess? [Jessica yelps] There's never time to wash the ceiling during the day.

Jessica: [says to herself] Open 24 hours a day. What a stupid idea! Who wants a burrito at three in the morning?

''[cuts to Garth's bedroom. Garth alarm's clock goes off and he wakes up]''

Garth: [turns off the alarm] Oh, boy! Three A.M.! [whips out a burrito from under his blanket and starts to eat it; cuts back to the Burrito Bucket]

Jessica: Just look at this place. It's like a ghost town in here! [lights start to flicker on and off] Very funny, Barbara.

Barbara: What?

Jessica: "And the lights will flicker on and off." Just like the story. I get it. [realizes no one is flickering the light switch and looks shocked]

Barbara: Hey, Jess, how are you doing that without moving the switch?

Jessica: I'm not doing it. It must be the stupid, faulty wiring in here. This place isn't built to run 24 hours a day! [the phone rings, Jessica picks it up and answers] What, what, hello? Hello? Hello? [no one's on the other end of the line]

Barbara: [walks up to the counter] Nice try, Jess.

Jessica: Nice try, what? 

Barbara: "The phone will ring and there will be no one there." ''[raises her eyebrows up and down and winks. taps jessica playfully, giggles]'' Oh, you crack me up.

Jessica: Barbara, I'm not doing this. [hangs up phone] Oh no, calm down, calm down. All right, what was it? There was the lights, [lights flicker on and off] and the phone, [phone rings] and the walls will ooze green slime! [walls start to ooze green slime] No, wait. They always do that. But what was that third thing? [hears a motor, turns her head and opens her eyes wide; a bus pulls up to the Burrito Bucket doors]

Barbara: [walks up to the counter] I didn't know the buses ran this late.

Jessica: They don't! [the bus pulls away, dropping off a man on the opposite side of the street, all Jessica and Barbara can see is his spooky outline.]

Barbara: Well, they're dropping someone off. [from the outside, the man lifts his knife, Jessica screams]

Jessica: The Sash-Ringing, Flash-Singing, the Bash-Pinging...

Barbara: The Hash-Slinging Slasher! [starts to cry]

Jessica: At last you understand! We're doomed!

Barbara: No, that's not it. [wipes tear] I am just so touched that you would go through the trouble to dress up as a ghostly burrito chef and stand on the other side of the street, just to entertain me! you're the best burrito partner ever! [cries again]

Jessica: Barbara, there are two problems with your theory. One, I hate working at here. And two, how can that be me when I'm standing right here!? [the man taps on the door with his knife, Barbara screams]

Barbara and Jessica: The Hash-Slinging Slasher! [the guy walks in the door and up to the counter, Barbara and Jessica hold each other in terror]

Jessica: [screams and cries]

Barbara: He's going to slice me! Get away! Get away!

Jessica: Barbara, no matter what I've said, I've always sort of liked you!

Barbara: Jessica, I was playing with your ring at school yesterday but i accidentally dropped it in the toilet!

Jessica: Huh? you what?! [the guy reaches the counter, revealing himself to be just a regular, nerdy guy as he steps into the light]

Barbara: Get away! Get away! You're not welcome here!

Unnamed Nerd: Can I have a job application? I brought my own knife. [holds up knife, his sleeve rolls down his arm to show he has his hand] I called here earlier, but I hung up 'cause I was nervous.

Barbara: Do you have references?

Jessica: [lets go of Barbara] Wait, if that was you on the phone and you on the bus, then who was flickering the lights? [lights flicker on and off; Barbara, Jessica, and the Unnamed Nerd look over and camera darts over to see a vampire flicking a giant light switch]

Barbara, Jessica, and Unnamed Nerd: Nosferatu.

Nosferatu: [smiles, light turns off]