Unikitty x Tawog Parody The Petals

''[The episode starts with Unikitty walking down the walkway. Puppycorn peers around the corner behind her]''

Puppycorn: Psst! [Whispers, Unikitty turns around] I need to talk to you about the pants.

Unikitty: Well come closer, then.

Puppycorn: No thanks. I don't want to get contaminated by your buffoonery.

[The camera zooms out to reveal Unikitty wearing oversized, baggy pants]

Unikitty: Look who's talking. Have you seen your sandals?

[The camera pans down on Puppycorn, revealing leather, heavily-strapped sandals]

Unikitty: You look like you're about to walk on water.

Puppycorn: Well you look like you prolapsed your whole digestive system!

Unikitty: You look like a Visigoth tourist!

Puppycorn: You look like you're wearing the back-end of a horse costume!

Unikitty: Yeah, well you look like this!

''[Unikitty rotates her hand between a thumbs up and thumbs down. She pauses briefly with her thumb pointed up with a sharp inhale, but quickly reverts to a thumbs down and a raspberry]''

Puppycorn: Hey, dude, only one Flower can judge me. [Points towards the sky for a second before moving it to point forward] FeeBee! If there was a fashion police, he'd be the town sheriff, only more fabulous.

Unikitty: Are you pointing at that broken accordion on a pile of trash?

[Cut to a shot of a broken accordion on a pile of trash]

Puppycorn: Sorry, it's hard to tell what's what since his high-fashion phase.

[A sequence plays showing FeeBee walking down the walkway in increasingly cutting-edge fashion set to catwalk music]
 * Uh, head shot, body shot
 * Paparazzi, twist and bop
 * Uh, head shot, body shot
 * Looking nasty, turn and smile
 * Catwalk beauty, catwalk beauty
 * Beauty, fashion

[Cut back to Unikitty and Puppycorn in the walkway]

Unikitty: Yeah, fair enough. Where is she, though?

Puppycorn: Come to think of it, I haven't seen her in weeks. Wait, what is that?

''[Unikitty and Puppycorn see a pile of petals on the floor. Unikitty picks one up]''

Unikitty: Hmm, petals. [Gasps] It's a clue.

Puppycorn: What do you mean?

Unikitty: Think about it -- what has petals? Flowers. What is made of flour? Bread. Who eats bread? Everyone, apart from people who can't eat gluten. Who doesn't eat gluten? People on a made-up diet. What kind of people are usually on fad diets? Drama queens. Who are usually drama queens? Actors. And what do actors do in real life? They work as waiters in the food industry. And where do they lie about not working in the food industry? [Points behind Puppycorn] Wait! there she is!

[Unikitty and Puppycorn walk to FeeBee while is sobbing and turned away from them]

Puppycorn: Huh! You were right!

Unikitty: You said that like it was a surprise. [To FeeBee] Hey FeeBee, could you help us decide on which one of us looks worse?

''[Unikitty pokes FeeBee's back, causing her to turn around and reveal a horrific face to a dramatic sting. Unikitty and Puppycorn react with shock]''

Puppycorn: Question answered!

Unikitty: Hey, what in the ever-loving what happened to your face?!

FeeBee: [Sighs] My beauty... it's fading.

Puppycorn: It's not that bad. I mean, if I just squint -- Oh wait, no, that's still pretty bad. But if just [Waves fins over eyes] -- no, that's -- that's not great, either. But if I just... [Turns around] See? That's better.

Unikitty: You see, true beauty is found on the inside. Your personality.

FeeBee: Good-looking people don't need a personality! Personalities were invented by ugly people to make up for what they lack on the outside!

Unikitty: But you can't spell "beautiful" without "B-U."

FeeBee: And you can't spell "hideous" without "hide" which is what I'm doing! [Sobs]

Puppycorn: [Lifts up FeeBee's face] Don't worry. We'll help you get pretty again.

FeeBee: Thank you. [Looks up and smiles at Puppycorn, but then frowns angrily] Hmmph! [Camera zooms out to reveal that Puppycorn was using a broomstick to lift her face]

Puppycorn: Sorry. It's just... your face!

Unikitty: [Moves a box of accessories to FeeBee] Let's start with accessories. Hopefully it will distract from the... everything.

FeeBee: Is that why you carry Puppycorn everywhere you go? [Clicks her fingers] Mm-mm!

Unikitty: You know, when you're pretty and you say something mean, people think you're sassy. But with a face like that, people think you're sasquatch. Now come on. Accessorize.

''[FeeBee takes the box of accessories. Time lapse to FeeBee wearing all of the clothes and a hat that was in the box. She then puts sunglasses on and faces Unikitty and Puppycorn]''

Unikitty: Ugh. It looks like the ugly tree and the Christmas tree had a baby and let her dress itself for everybody. So, yeah! Definitely an improvement.

[FeeBee starts to suffocate]

Puppycorn: Wow! She fainted from happiness!

Unikitty: Now she's having spasms of satisfaction!

''[FeeBee is still suffocating. Unikitty and Puppycorn become worried]''

Unikitty: Uh, FeeBee? Is something wrong? [Pulls a scarf off FeeBee]

FeeBee: I can't.. photosynthesize...

Unikitty: Is that when you store all your photos in a cloud or...

FeeBee: [out of breath] I can't breathe!

Puppycorn: Quick! Give her CPR!

Unikitty: Uh, okay o—

[Unikitty quickly takes off some of FeeBee's clothes to try and give her CPR, but backs off in disgust]

Unikitty: Ugh, I can't, she's so ugly. [Unikitty tries to give FeeBee CPR from a distance]

''[Puppycorn, impatient, pushes Unikitty's head down. After a moment, they stop, out of breath]''

FeeBee: [Slaps Unikitty] Who told you... to stop...

Unikitty: Nononono— [Puppycorn pushes her face down to FeeBee's again] NOOOOOOOO—

[Scene cuts to a long shot of a stadium, then zooms to Unikitty, Puppycorn and FeeBee]

Unikitty: Okay, so you know about the Cheerleader Effect, right?

FeeBee: What's that?

Unikitty: It's an optical mind trick. When girls hang out in groups, they look prettier.

Diane, Q.T. and Bim-Bom: Go Unikingdom, Go!

''[Diane, Q.T. and Bim-Bom turn around, one at a time. Each time, their faces are replaced by beautiful, live-action ones.]''

Unikitty: Come on, let's try it. Hey Dr. Fox!

Dr. Fox: Yeah?

Unikitty: How do we look? [Unikitty, Puppycorn and FeeBee come closer together, aiming for the Cheerleader Effect, but their faces get more distorted]

Dr. Fox: Ah, you're going for the Cheerleader Effect right?

Unikitty: [Muffled] Yes.

Dr. Fox: Sorry, your faces are horrible. We call it the Frat-guy Effect, make you look like medieval pillaging creeps.

Unikitty: But we still be friends if I looked like this?

Dr. Fox: Yeah, we still be friends

Unikitty: Aww!

Dr. Fox: Impossible to live without, [aside] but it would really hurt my eyes to look at you directly.

Unikitty: ''[She and Puppycorn's faces return to normal. She walks up to Dr. Fox]'' What about now?

Dr. Fox: That's much better now i have to go bye.

Unikitty: Bye.

FeeBee: Well what about my face?

Puppycorn: Well, it's like, you know when a movie comes out and you say, "The sequel can't possibly be worse!" then it is? Well, it's like the tenth movie.

''[The scene cuts to FeeBee sobbing on a bench in the park, while Unikitty and Puppycorn sit next to her. She looks up, revealing an even more hideous face]''

Unikitty and Puppycorn: Ahh!

Unikitty: How is that possible? You look even uglier than a second ago.

Puppycorn: You're right. Her condition's deteriorating!

Unikitty: Maybe you can try and... own it?

FeeBee: What do you mean?

Unikitty: You know, like our Grandpa! He never lets his age get in the way of stripping off for his life-drawing classes! And he doesn't even care when the teacher body-shames him by saying, "There's no need to get naked when you're the one doing the drawing."

Puppycorn: She's right. If you got it, [winks] flaunt it.

FeeBee: Hmm...

''[Time lapse to FeeBee, who is handcuffed on the back of a police car with her exposed roots censored. Spectators stare at FeeBee in horror whilst Unikitty and Puppycorn are cringing]''

Unikitty: You... may have flaunted it too much.

[Camera pans to Action Police, who is pouring water onto his unblinking eyes]

Action Police: Oh my gosh! My eyes, my eyes!!

''[Scene cuts to the mall. Unikitty is putting some moisturizer on FeeBee's face]''

FeeBee: Mmm. What's that you're using?

Unikitty: A moisturizer. It may help lift the asymmetrical drooping side of your face. ''[One side of FeeBee's face droops. Unikitty cringes]'' I guess we'll just have to wait for the opposite side to collapse instead.

FeeBee: mm. What's in it?

Unikitty: [Reads moisturizer label] Uh, Aloe Vera?

FeeBee: ALOE VERA?! Are you insane?!

Unikitty: What? Why?

FeeBee: It's made of cactus, that's like rubbing the undead remains of your cousins on your face! NONE of that stuff is made for use on plants!

Puppycorn: Yet! Ladies, it's time for science.

''[Transition to Unikitty's house in Dr Fox's Laboratory. Puppycorn is doing a series of experiments, with music playing in the background. The montage ends with Puppycorn saying:]''

Puppycorn: EUREKA!!!!

Unikitty: What?

Puppycorn: Nothing. Normally when people do all that stuff and shout Eureka they get the answer. I just thought that was the formula for science.

[Unikitty grabs a gardening book and eats a part of it.]

FeeBee: What are you doing?

Unikitty: Eating this gardening book to absorb its knowledge.

FeeBee: Ugh! [Grabs book from Unikitty] Gimme that!

Unikitty: [Grabs book back from FeeBee] You gimme that! Wait, what were you gonna do with it?

FeeBee​​​: Read it!

Unikitty: Yeah, well that's exactly what I was gonna do, so pffff. [whispering] Reading, reading, reading, reading— [gasps] Got it! You need more sun.

''[On the roof of Unikitty's house, FeeBee lays out on a reclining lawn chair as Unikitty and Puppycorn spectate. The scene cuts to Unikitty and Puppycorn]''

Unikitty: Hmm...

''[The scene cuts back to FeeBee, who now has a tanning mirror. It cuts to Unikitty and Puppycorn again]''

Unikitty: Hmm...

''[The scene cuts back to FeeBee a third time, now surrounded by mirrors, while Unikitty watches on with satisfaction. However, the amount of light shining on FeeBee causes her to burst into flame and scream. Puppycorn frantically runs off to get a bucket of water, but before he can throw it upon FeeBee, Unikitty halts him]''

Unikitty: Wait. Maybe the fire will improve her face.

''[It does not, and FeeBee is left severely burnt. Unikitty hums and flips through the gardening book nonchalantly]''

Unikitty: Oh! It says here that you might need more water.

[Puppycorn splashes FeeBee with the bucket of water, knocking her backwards.They all look at each other in silence for a second]

Unikitty: Maybe a little more?

[In the Unikitty's house, Unikitty and Puppycorn put a fire hose in FeeBee's Mouth and turn it on, causing FeeBee to swell up]

FeeBee​​​: [Muffled] How do I look?

Puppycorn: Like a bullfrog that got a face transplant from a grilled cheese sandwich?

Unikitty: [Looking at the gardening book] Oh. It says here that the problem might be caused by a parasite.

''[The scene cuts to a gardening store. Unikitty and Puppycorn spray FeeBee with fertilizer, causing her to suffocate]''

FeeBee​​​: [Coughing] Wait!

[She puts her hands over her face, and when she lifts them, discovers that she has become more handsome]

FeeBee​​​: [Gasps] I'm beautiful. Wait! I'm more beautiful than I've ever been!

[The camera pans out, revealing FeeBee's rippling pecks as her leaves undulate in the wind]

FeeBee​​​: Look at me, world, and gag upon my eleganza!

''[FeeBee laughs diabolically, but the scene reveals itself to be a fertilizer-adled hallucination as she lies on the floor giggling, no less hideous. Unikitty and Puppycorn look at her with disgust and spray her one more time, causing her to pass out]''

[Cut to FeeBee on a couch at Unikingdom Mall, with Unikitty, Puppycorn, and a Hot Dog Citizen (who is operating a hot dog vendor) staring at her]

FeeBee​​​: Aww...

Puppycorn: [Strokes FeeBee's face] It doesn't matter. We still love you.

FeeBee​​​: I don't care if you— oh!

''[The camera zooms out to reveal Puppycorn stroking FeeBee with a hot dog. She slaps it out of his hand]''

FeeBee​​​: I don't care about the people who love me! I've already got their validation. It's the people who don't love me I need to impress! [Makes a fashion pose]

Unikitty: [Reading the gardening book] Wait a second. FeeBee, I've got it! You're just wilting! It's completely normal.

FeeBee​​​: Really?

Unikitty: Yeah! And there's a very simple solution.

FeeBee​​​: What is it?

Unikitty: [Points to a picture in the book] Eh?

[Camera zooms into the picture with a dramatic sting showing that the flower head is being cut off.]

[Scene cuts to Green Mom entering the mall, but is pushed down by FeeBee, who is running away while Unikitty and Puppycorn are chasing her]

FeeBee​​​: aaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! [Running through the outside parking lot] LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Puppycorn: Hey! Take it easy. It doesn't have to be an ordeal!

Unikitty: Yeah! Think of it like a nice, relaxing bit of gardening.

[The scene switches to Unikitty and Puppycorn in a garden, as gardeners in a gardening show.]

Unikitty: [Talks to the viewers] Hello, and welcome to Gardening Thyme.

[The logo for Gardening Thyme appears]

Unikitty: Today's episode is about the seasonal decapitation of flowers, or as [Picks a rose] we gardeners call it, [Smells the rose] dead-heading.

[Cuts to FeeBee, who is still running away from them]

FeeBee​​​: You people are INSAAAAAANE!!! [Stops to look back at them] Aaahhhah! [Runs inside a parking lot]

''[Inside the parking lot, FeeBee is running around. The lights flicker, then FeeBee looks at an elevator. The lights flicker again to reveal Unikitty and Puppycorn in there]''

FeeBee​​​: Ahh! [Runs away]

[The scene cuts to Dainty, who is having trouble starting up her car.]

Dainty: Come on, st— [Spots FeeBee] AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

FeeBee​​​: AAAAHHHHHHH—[Muffled] it won't start unless it's in park.

Dainty: Hmm? [Rolls down the window]

FeeBee​​​: It won't start unless it's in park.

Dainty: Oh, thanks. [Starts the car and punches FeeBee] Aaahhhh!!! [Reverses into a pillar and drives off]

FeeBee​​​: I'm not a monster! I just look like one! [Gasps, then turns around to reveal Unikitty and Puppycorn behind her] 

[They snip their clippers, and go back to their 'Gardening Thyme' episode]

Unikitty: You see little bro, it is important to choose the right tools for the job.

Puppycorn: Why not a chainsaw?

Unikitty: [laughs] Slow down there, we don't wanna make a mess. What we need is a clean cut to the stem

[FeeBee screams as she runs out of the parking lot]

FeeBee​​​: Help! Help! Help! [Runs up to Old Timey Mustache Man] Sir! Please help! ''[Old Timey Mustache Man turns around holding a bouquet of flowers and a clipper. FeeBee then runs to Hawkodile about to beg for help, but sees him shredding a log; FeeBee screams. FeeBee runs up to Master Frown and asks for help]''

FeeBee​​​: Sir! Please help! There's these two guys who— [Gasps]

''[Master Frown is pouring some weed-killer on some weeds. He then turns around with a creepy face. The camera dramatically zooms in and FeeBee runs away, only to run into Unikitty and Puppycorn. They follow FeeBee without appearing to be walking]''

FeeBee​​​: [Terrified] Please, please! Leave me alone! What are these?

''[A blanket falls on top of her She takes it off, and looks at some underpants that she's holding. She puts them away to reveal Unikitty and Puppycorn]''

FeeBee​​​: Aahhahh! [Trips and falls into some compost]

[Back to the 'Gardening Thyme' episode]

Unikitty: Make sure you don't waste the flower heads, add them to the compost heap.

Puppycorn: Very good point, big sis. In time, their rotten remains will be eaten and excreted by worms. The resulting matter can be used to feed other plants.

''[FeeBee screams in terror and agony. She jumps through a basement vent and frantically calls for help]''

FeeBee​​​: The police! I need to call the police! [Her phone has no signal] Agh! No network! Come on, come on! [She hears voices and gasps] They're coming! [Turns off his phone]

Unikitty and Puppycorn: [Eerily] FeeBee, where are you? FeeBee...

''[FeeBee receives a notification. The phone lights up, with Unikitty and Puppycorn behind her]''

FeeBee​​​: Ahhh! [Tries to run away]

[The lights turn on, with Unikitty and Puppycorn back to normal]

Unikitty: FeeBee, stop being such a drama queen and listen to us for a second!

FeeBee​​​: Since when is being scared of decapitation considered over-dramatic?

Puppycorn: We're doing this for your own good, man. Think about your face! It will just continue rotting!

FeeBee​​​: Wait, so you're saying that it's better to leave a hot memory than cold compost? I agree. [Signals for her head to be cut off] Do it!

Unikitty: What? No, no, your head will regrow.

FeeBee​​​: Ah, alright then!

''[She tries to pull her head off and after a few attempts, she is successful. She falls to the ground after. Unikitty and Puppycorn stare in horror, but then go back to their 'Gardening Thyme' episode]''

Unikitty: And that concludes our episode.

Puppycorn: And when will we see our pretty new flower grow, Unikitty?

Unikitty: When spring comes back in about six months.

''[FeeBee's body comes up behind them and snips the clippers. The episode ends after a small moment of FeeBee chasing Unikitty and Puppycorn]''