Bon Bon Vs Lyra In The Fry Cook Games A Spongebob Parody

MY FOURTH MLP EQG FANFICTION

[Scene begins outside of the Fast Food Coliseum]

Dj Pon3: Welcome, sports fans, to the 21st annual Canterlot Fry Cook Games.

''[Horns are played as Micro Chips the teenage nerd runs into the stadium, holding a small torch. He runs up the stairs to a huge hamburger]''

Micro Chips: I declare these Fry Cook Games... open!

''[A gust of wind blows by and puts out the flame on the torch. The scene cuts to the "Please Stand By" screen. The screen cuts back to the stadium as the horns blow again and Micro Chips runs back into the stadium, but this time, he's shielding the torch with his hand and panting. He runs back up the stairs to the huge hamburger]''

Micro Chips: I declare these Fry Cook Games... open!

[He lights the huge hamburger, then a second later, he starts being on fire]

Dj Pon3: So begin the 21st Fry Cook Games. I'm Dj Pon3, and it's a beautiful day here at Canterlot's Fast Food Coliseum.

[A clip plays showing a woman tossing a large straw into a large plastic cup]

Dj Pon3: They come from everywhere microwaves hum.

[A clip of a man throwing an uncooked patty onto a grill]

Dj Pon3: Patties sizzle.

[A clip of a Man bouncing on top of a large cube of gelatin and landing on a mat is shown]

Dj Pon3: And heat lamps keep the fast food spirit warm... and soggy. But the real story is the bitter rivalry between former competitors Principal Celestia of Canterlot High School and Principal Cinch of Crystal Prep Academy.

''[Pictures of both Principal Celestia and Principal Cinch appear. A clip of Principal Celestia lifting up two barrels of pickles is shown]''

Dj Pon3: Who could forget the year Principal Celestia won gold for this five hundred pickle clean-and-jerk?

[Principal Celestia is shown on a podium on the number one step, while Principal Cinch is below her on the second]

Dj Pon3: Not Principal Cinch.

''[Principal Cinch sprays Principal Celestia with a hose. A clip of Principal Cinch flipping around while hanging onto two onion rings is shown]''

Dj Pon3: Or when Principal Cinch won the hearts of millions by performing this perfect onion ring routine... with a broken leg?

''[A cast is around Principal Cinch's left leg. Principal Cinch is shown in the number one spot on the podium this time, with Principal Celestia below her]''

Dj Pon3: Celestia wasn't moved.

[Principal Celestia pushes Principal Cinch off the podium]

Dj Pon3: And now, late word is that this year, Canterlot High School will be represented by a new competitor, on what is perhaps the greatest day of her young life. ''[A picture of a shadowy figure of a body with a question mark over it appears. The figure turns around and is revealed to be Bon Bon, wearing a sweatband and sports uniform. Bon Bon is standing next to Principal Celestia, who is sitting on a bench staring at a stopwatch]''

Bon Bon: This is perhaps the greatest day of my young life, Principal Celestia.

[Bon Bon starts jogging in place]

Bon Bon: I can't believe I'm representing CHS in the Fry Cook Games.

[A spotlight shines down on her and she puts her hand on her heart]

Bon Bon: To bring home the gold is to bring honor and glory to CHS.

Principal Celestia: And all that free publicity will bring in new students! So don't lose!

[Principal Celestia walks away]

Bon Bon: Aye, aye, Celestia!

[She starts doing pushups]

Bon Bon: CHS! CHS! CHS!

[Lyra walks up]

Lyra: Hey, Bon Bon.

[Bon Bon stops]

Bon Bon: Hi, Lyra.

[Bon Bon continues doing pushups]

Bon Bon: CHS! CHS! CHS!

[Bon Bon starts groaning]

Lyra: Are you trying to move the ground? You'll never move it like that. You gotta get under... [Lyra rips the piece of grass out from under Bon Bon, flipping her over] …neath it!

Bon Bon: Come on, Lyra, I'm trying to train for the games.

Lyra: Games? Can I play?

Bon Bon: Ah, sorry, Lyra.

[Bon Bon starts jumping rope]

Bon Bon: You have to be a fry cook.

Lyra: Be a fry cook? Is that all I gotta do? That'll be easy!

[Bon Bon tosses her jump rope behind her]

Bon Bon: What do you mean easy?

[Lyra laughs]

Lyra: How hard can it be?

Bon Bon: They don't let just anybody be a fry cook. We're an elite corp!

Lyra: Oh, come on. You're just flippin' burgers.

Bon Bon: Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds!

[Lyra flips a rock over with her foot]

Lyra: Tssss...

Bon Bon: Why don't you go home, Lyra? You can compete in the Laying Into A Bed All Day Games!

[Lyra gasps]

Lyra: Well, at least I don't polish my fingernails.

[Bon Bon gasps and points at Lyra]

Bon Bon: You take that back!

''[Bon Bon's index finger gleams. Lyra dances around]''

Lyra: Fingernails! Fingernails! Fingernails!

Bon Bon: Well, you're a silly head.

Lyra: I cannot believe what I am hearing!

Bon Bon: [shouts] How can you hear it?! Because you're blind!

[Lyra stutters]

Lyra: Candy head!

Bon Bon: Knuclehead!

Lyra: White!

Bon Bon: Green!

[Lyra screams and holds her head]

Lyra: I'm gonna get a job as a fry cook and it'll be easy!

''[Lyra walks off. Bon Bon growls and starts doing pushups again, but this time, she does it faster]''

Bon Bon: Fine! CHS! CHS! CHS!

[Principal Celestia sniffs the air]

Principal Celestia: What's that smell in the air? I smell Principal Cinch!

''[Camera zooms over to Principal Cinch, who is standing in the entranceway of the stadium. She pulls out a fake nose from behind her]''

Principal Cinch: Oh yeah?! Well, I smell...[She sniffs himself] Pew! She's right.

''[Principal Celestia runs over, her feet twinkling. Principal Cinch does the same. Principal Celestia makes a Broadway pose as corresponding music plays. Principal Cinch makes a similar pose, holding a cane and a top hat. Principal Celestia plays a piano, while Principal Cinch blows into a tuba, messing up the rhythm]''

Principal Cinch: I love messing things up.

[Principal Cinch meets up with Principal Celestia facing each other]

Principal Cinch: Are you ready to do or die, Celestia?

Principal Celestia: Always ready, Cinch. Always ready.

Principal Cinch: Good. Because today, Crystal Prep Academy is going to kick... [Principal Cinch raises her arm and accidentally cramps her hand] ...ouch your carapace! Well you get the idea.

Principal Celestia: That's what you think, but I got me a champion. Bon Bon! Show her! [Bon Bon does a karate routine, using two spatulas as nunchucks, then laughs innocently when she finishes] Look at her. In her prime. You ain't got no chance!

Principal Cinch: That's where you're wrong, Celestia, for I too have a champion. [Principal Cinch lowers a microphone] Ladies and gentlemen, turn your attention to the southwest corridor! [The crowd turns to the southeast corridor] Other way! [under her breath] Imbeciles. [The crowd turns to the southwest corridor] And... stop! Perfect. [In the entranceway, an extremely large shadow approaches, making loud stomps on the way] Representing Crystal Prep Academy, a creature so fearsome, so terrible, so mind-bendingly large, that those of you with weak constitutions may want to leave the stadium. ''[Two parents cover up their child's eyes, and he covers theirs. Principal Celestia gulps and covers her eyes. Bulk Biceps sits, trembling in the audience. He quickly gets up to leave]''

Bulk Biceps: I gotta get outta here!

Principal Cinch: Too late! Ready or not, here She comes. Quake with fear, you mortal fools. Bow down before the awesome might of... ''[The wall of the stadium explodes. The crowd fly everywhere. When the dust clears up, a huge, purple muscular man is seen] ...this huge guy who is carrying the real contestant... [The huge man turns around, revealing Lyra to be strapped to his back]'' ...Lyra Heartstrings!

''[Lyra waves happily. Bon Bon stares in shock. She walks up as Lyra gets down from the huge mans back]''

Bon Bon: Lyra, what are you doing here? You're not a fry cook.

Lyra: Oh, yes I am, Mrs. Bon Bon candy head.

[Lyra points at her shirt]

Lyra: Check it out!

[A name tag is stuck to her shirt that says, "Crystal Prep Academy, Lyra."]

Lyra: I've been working for CPA for almost five minutes.

Bon Bon: Well, it doesn't matter anyway, 'cause you're gonna eat my dust.

Lyra: Nuh-uh. I'm eating my own dust!

Bon Bon: Not if I eat it first!

Lyra: White!

Bon Bon: Green!

[The two walk away]

Bon Bon: I can't believe it, Principal Celestia. I thought Lyra was my friend.

Principal Celestia: Friend? Not in here, she ain't.

Bon Bon: What do you mean?

Principal Cinch: She's not really your friend.

Lyra: She's not?

Principal Cinch: She's plotting your downfall right now!

Bon Bon: She is?

Principal Celestia: She's gonna stab you in the back.

Lyra: She wouldn't!

Principal Cinch: Of course she would. Just look at her. She's gonna kick your butt!

Principal Celestia: She's making a mockery of your profession. Are we gonna let some pretender take away what belongs to CHS?

Bon Bon: No!

Principal Cinch: Then get mean!

Lyra: I'm mean!

Principal Celestia: Get angry!

Bon Bon: I'm angry!

Principal Cinch: Now get out there!

Principal Celestia: And win...

Principal Cinch: That...

Principal Celestia: Medal!

Lyra: [Screams]

Bon Bon: [Screams]

Bon Bon And Lyra: [both scream]

Huge Man: [weak scream] Ahhh.

[Scene cuts to the first event]

Dj Pon3: Our first event, the deep fry pole vault. ''[A deep fryer labeled "Fry King" sits in front of two high poles. Bon Bon stands in front of Principal Celestia, holding a long pole]''

Principal Celestia: Win this one for CHS.

Bon Bon: For CHS! ''[Bon Bon flips over the poles and the deep fry and face plants down on the circle drawn in the ground. The crowd gasps. Bon Bon gets up and holds a number one sign and the crowd cheers]''

Principal Cinch: Win this one because I told you to.

Lyra: Because you told me to! ''[Lyra flips over the poles, but lands on the handle of the deep fryer, flinging it at the vendor who is selling fish turning then in fish sticks. he turns on a heat lamp]''

Vendor: Fish sticks! Get your fish sticks here!

''[Scene cuts to the second event. Bon Bon and Lyra are standing in front of a tall ladder that leads to a diving board, perched above a bowl of chocolate syrup]''

Dj Pon3: The next event: the chocolate high dive.

Principal Celestia: Make way for the real fry cook, Lyra.

[Bon Bon climbs up the ladder]

Dj Pon3: For her dive, Bon Bon will be attempting a full banana fudge pop with two sticks.

[Bon Bon holds up two popsicle sticks and sticks them into the top of her head]

Dj Pon3: And now, absolute silence.

''[The crowd stops chattering. Bon Bon jumps off the diving board]''

Bon Bon: I scream for ice cream! ''[Bon Bon flips around a couple times, then leaps toward the bowl. She lands in the chocolate syrup, getting coated in it, then hops out of it and into a sandbox full of toasted almonds]''

Dj Pon3: Perfect entry! And toasted almonds? That's unexpected.

[Bon Bon lands in the circle]

Dj Pon3: She stuck it!

[Bon Bon turns around toward the camera and grins]

Dj Pon3: And just look at that even coating.

[Bon Bon walks upside-down past Lyra, using the popsicle sticks for legs]

Bon Bon: Top, that Greeny.

[Principal cinch walks up]

Principal Cinch: Almonds? Curse her, that's good. But perhaps a bit too highbrow for this crowd. She thinks she's better than them!

[Lyra groans]

Principal Cinch: Better than you!

[Lyra groans louder]

Principal Cinch: Now get up there and show her how the common man prepares her frozen dairy treats!

[Lyra screams, then hops up onto the diving board with the lower half of her body inside an ice cream cone]

Dj Pon3: Lyra will be resurrecting an old favorite. The single scoop pistachio cone with a chocolate dip.

[Lyra slowly leans off the edge until he falls off the diving board]

Dj Pon3: Just look at that concentration.

[Lyra splashes into the bowl, with chocolate syrup flying everywhere]

Dj Pon3: Ooh, a little shaky on that entry.

[A live action pistachio cone with a chocolate dip is shown]

Dj Pon3: But just look at that form!

[Lyra hops up to Bon Bon grinning while Bon Bon is very angry about losing]

Lyra: Take that, white girl!

Bon Bon: Laugh while you can, Greeny. It's not over yet.

Lyra: That's what you think, but it's not over yet.

''[A clip of highlights from the games is shown, beginning with Bon Bon tossing a patty. Lyra skates on a large grill with butter on her feet. Lyra tosses a large bottle of ketchup up in the air. Bon Bon and Lyra race on a track carrying trays full of food; the two fly up in the air on two large spatulas. They both do a dance wearing colorful outfits and fruit hats, Lyra's being 12 and Bon Bon's being 27. The clip ends. A large arena on top of a hamburger is on screen. Dj Pon3 is still reporting]''

Dj Pon3: It's not over yet! With the score tied, we go to our final event! Bun wrestling. Who will take home the gold? Principal Celestia from CHS?

Principal celestia: [rubbing Bon Bon's shoulders] Don't forget, she called ye white!

''[Bon Bon picks up a metal chain, bites off and chews up the middle of it. She bares her teeth, revealing the metal chain to now be attached to them like braces]''

Dj Pon3: Or Principal Cinch from CPA?

Principal Cinch: Don't forget, she called you green!

''[Principal Cinch walks away. Lyra growls as she picks up a lemon, rips it in half, puts both halves into each of her eyes and screams]''

''[Heavy metal music plays. The bell rings. Bon Bon tears off her blue robe, showing off her wrestling uniform. Lyra rips off her own green robe, underneath which she is wearing a business suit. She tears off the business suit, also revealing an wrestling uniform. The two dive at each other, screaming, until they collide. They wrestle and continue to wind up in twisted positions. They spin around and wind up wrestling with themselves. They realize this, and dive back at each other. Lyra sits on top of Bon Bon, holding her foot]''

Lyra: Forget Crystal Prep Academy. This is personal.

''[Lyra takes off Bon Bon's shoe and licks her foot slowly. Bon Bon screams in agony. The two wrestle again. Bon Bon sits on Lyra's chest and lifts up a pencil with the eraser side pointing toward Lyra. She slowly brings it down to her name tag and erases the "Ly" in "Lyra", leaving "ra"]''

Lyra: [screams] Noooo! My name's... not... Ra!

[Lyra tackles Bon Bon and the two wrestle once more before they stop]

Bon Bon: I don't like you!

Lyra: I don't like you more!

Bon Bon: I never liked you!

Lyra: I a thousand times never liked you!

Bon Bon: Green!

Lyra: White!

''[They struggle to push each other until both of their wrestling uniform rip and fall down. Lyra's panties is white. Bon Bon's panties is Green]''

Bon Bon: Green?

Lyra: White?

Bon Bon And Lyra: You do care!

[They both start crying and hug each other]

Bon Bon: Let's promise never to fight again, buddy.

Lyra: Yeah, pal. Let's go home.

''[The two friends walk off whistling and holding hands. The crowd boos. Principal Celestia runs up]''

Principal Celestia: Hey! Where ya going?

[Principal Cinch runs up next to Principal Celestia]

Principal Cinch: Get back here and kill each other!

[Bon Bon and Lyra exit the stadium, with arms on each other's backs]

Lyra: You're my best friend ever.

Bon Bon: You too, Lyra.

Lyra: You know, these were white when I bought 'em.