Tawog x Unikitty Parody The Castle

[At the start of the episode Unikitty is in bed when she is awoken by the ringing of an alarm clock on the nightstand. She reaches over to silence it, then shouts at a still sleeping Puppycorn]

Unikitty: Quick! We have to get dressed, eat breakfast, and do the Unikingdom tasks, or Richard's gonna kick our butts! Good thing I slept in my clothes!

Puppycorn: Hey, those are my clothes!

Unikitty: No time to change! You put on mine!

[Unikitty runs out of the bathroom and goes downstairs with a tube of toothpaste in Her paw. Puppycorn exits the bedroom and waddles after her while dressed in Unikitty's outfit]

Puppycorn: Dude, wait up! I can't walk here.

[Puppycorn falls over and the two topple down the stairs, miraculously changing clothes when they reach the bottom]

Unikitty: Huh, that worked out better than I expected.

Puppycorn: You're wasting time!

[In the kitchen, Puppycorn is holding butter, a toaster, and toothpaste, while Unikitty hands him several slices of bread and cheese from the fridge]

Unikitty: We have to go faster! Spread the toothpaste on the toast, put the cartoons on fast-forward and give me a milk shower.

[In the living room, Unikitty and Puppycorn are eating toast with toothpaste and watching TV. Suddenly, the TV turns off, and the two notice that Dr. Fox and Hawkodile are sitting right next to them in their sleepwear]

Unikitty: Dude, it's Saturday...

[Unikitty and Puppycorn celebrate by jumping up into the air as they imagine fireworks surrounding them, while Ode To Joy plays]

Dr. Fox: [Squirts whipped cream into her mouth] And it's Hawkodile who's looking after us. [Squirts some more whipped cream into her mouth]

[Unikitty jumps into Puppycorn's arms with a slow iris shot as they smile. Just before it closes, Dr. fox squirts whipped cream into Unikitty's mouth]

Unikitty: Ahh... I was hoping you'd do that.

[The Unikingdom shopping mall is shown. Dr. Fox and Puppycorn are walking together]

Puppycorn: I love hanging out at the mall with Hawkodile.

Dr. Fox: I know, right? You stay in your pajamas, eat junk food all day, and get anything you ask for. It's like a really trashy Christmas.

[Hawkodile is pushing the cart behind Dr. Fox and Puppycorn, while eating candy]

Unikitty: [Interrupts Hawkodile] Hey Hawkodile, can I have twenty bucks to get my eyebrow pierced?

Hawkodile: First, I need to ask you one question, Little kitty. Are you ready for the responsibility of how awesomely cool this is going to make you?

Unikitty: [Bows at one knee] Yes, of course. I am.

[Hawkodile pulls out a dollar note, while two couple are watching]

Hawkodile: Then take this twenty, and may radness illuminate your path.

Green Mom: Uh, are you seriously letting that cat get one of her eyebrows pierced?!

Hawkodile: You're right, take forty. Do both, that's much cooler.

Unikitty: Thanks Hawkodile!

Green Mom: Ugh, come on, Green Dad. Let's go.

[Green Dad subtly gives Hawkodile a thumbs up]

Green Mom: Green Dad!

[Green Dad runs away as Dr. Fox walks up to Hawkodile]

Dr. Fox: Hawkodile, can we get this tape?

Hawkodile: Why?

Puppycorn: To fix stuff

Hawkodile: But nothing's broken!

Dr. Fox: Yeah, but Puppycorn also wants to get this hammer.

[Puppycorn pulls out a hammer]

Puppycorn: I'm not buying you a hammer... until we've tested how much fun it's gonna be first!

[Cut to Dr. fox and Puppycorn bashing food on two plates, which are being held by a random citizen. Hawkodile is holding Dr. Fox]

Dr. Fox: [Stops hammering] Wait... aren't we gonna have to pay for all this?

Hawkodile: We don't have to, they're free samples.

Dr. Fox and Puppycorn: Oh! [They continue hammering]

[Cut to Hawkodile sliding around the mall with an empty shopping cart, while making loud sounds. Puppycorn is seated on the meat counter, while Dr. Fox gently hammers his knee, as if she is testing his knee-jerk reflex. Unikitty walks up to them]

Dr. Fox: Where's your piercing?

Unikitty: [Her face barely moves] I got some anti-wrinkle injections instead.

Puppycorn: Really? [Scares Unikitty who fails to change expression, then laughs]

[Hawkodile gets off the shopping cart, letting it run away and crash off screen]

Hawkodile: I'm bored now. Let's go home.

Dr. Fox: But what about the groceries?

[Hawkodile goes over to Really Old Edith and takes her shopping cart full of groceries]

Really Old Edith: Hey! That's my shopping!

Hawkodile: Oh, I'm sorry. Did you pay for this?

Really Old Edith: Uhh.... No.

Hawkodile: Then it's not yours, is it? [Leaves with Really Old Edith's shopping cart]

Really Old Edith: Eh--eh--eh--eh--oh.

[Hawkodile and Unikitty, Puppycorn And Dr. Fox prepare to ride on the cart. Dr. Fox is already in the cart, while Puppycorn and Unikitty are at the sides]

Puppycorn: Boop... boop... boop... boooop!

[They speed away on the cart through an aisle. Unikitty and Puppycorn get onto the cart]

Hawkodile: Whooooooo!

[The gang continue their cart ride as they exit the elevator and speed through the parking space. The gang laugh. The cart crashes through the gate arm]

Guard 2: Hey! you can't do that!

Unikitty: Of course we can! Everything is allowed with my bodyguard!

[Unikitty opens the fridge door]

Unikitty: Boom!

[She gathers the ingredients]

Unikitty: [Singing] We home alone with my Bodyguard, so I make me own lunch.

Puppycorn and Dr. Fox: Boom!

Unikitty: I can eat what I want, so I pick the best munch.

Puppycorn and Dr. Fox: Boom!

Unikitty: I pick up ham and chocolate chips and stick 'em in the bread.

Puppycorn and Dr. Fox: Boom!

Unikitty: It need a little sauce, I say maple and red.

Puppycorn and Dr. Fox: Boom!

Puppycorn: Hey, have you noticed that your voice has changed?

Unikitty: What, you mean how I sound like a man and you squeal like a piglet on helium?

Puppycorn: [Voice cracking] You take that back!

Unikitty: [Laughs] Sure, when you ask me like a man.

Puppycorn: [Shrieking] I AM A MAN!

Unikitty: Really? 'Cause right now you sound like a mouse whose parachute won't open.

[Dr. Fox laughs at this]

Puppycorn: [Rising in pitch] IF YOU DON'T TAKE THAT BACK I'M GONNA TAKE IT TO--

[Puppycorn shrieks at Unikitty and his voice turns into high pitched ringing. Unikitty and Dr. Fox's pupils dilate and disappear]

Star Citizen: [On TV] You have won this antique crystal decanter worth over ten-thous-

[the Star citizen explodes Puppycorn continues screeching and his voice returns to normal]

Puppycorn: [Voice cracking] BY THE TIME I'M FINISHED, you'll be whistling out your BUTT!

Unikitty: Ugh! Okay, okay, I take it back. Man, my ears are still ringing.

[Doorbell rings]

Unikitty: Ah, there it is again.

[Hawkodile opens the door.]

Green Dad: Lord citizen, the word on the streets of Unikingdom is that yours is a house with no rules. I humbly request asylum in your palace of freedom.

Hawkodile: What?

Green Dad: Everyone in the Unikingdom is talking about how laid back you guys are. Can I hang out at your house? I'm not allowed to be myself at home.

Hawkodile: I hereby grant thee thy fairest and most cherished wish.

Green Dad: What?

Hawkodile: That means yes.

[Green Dad repeatedly pokes Unikitty's face]

Unikitty: I'm starting to see why your family won't let you be yourself.

Green Dad: [Poking Unikitty's face] I like touching things.

Puppycorn: [Mixing his oatmeal] To be honest, I'm more annoyed at the others.

[Camera pans out revealing Hawkodile had allowed anyone to enter and trash their house]

Librarian: [Shouting] THIS HOUSE IS GREAT! NORMALLY I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SHOUT. I WORK IN THE LIBRARY, YOU SEE?

Burglar: [Looting] Yeah, they don't judge here. Which is great, 'cause usually judges don't like me.

Really Old Edith: Ah, finally a place where I am not pressured by society to be beautiful.

Sausage Guy: [Drinking] You don't look that different.

Really Old Edith: I haven't taken off my makeup yet.

[Really Old Edith wipes her makeup off revealing her unpleasant appearance. Sausage Guy spits his drink back]

Really Old Edith: How about you?

Sausage Guy: [Takes his buns off] I just came here 'cause people don't like it when I'm naked.

Really Old Edith: You know that was only covering your back, right?

Sausage Guy: Yeah.

[the Hippie is ravenously eating meat in the kitchen]

Old Timey Mustache Man: I thought you were some kinda vegetarian eco-warrior?

Hippie: Only so I can get that rush of superiority for making other people feel guilty.

Lego Hobo: [To Hawkodile] Hey dude, I hope you don't mind. I've invited a few friends to the party.

Dr. Fox: Uh, before we open that door, please define a few.

Lego Hobo: Like, a bunch?

Dr. Fox: And by that you mean?

Lego Hobo: You know, some?

Dr. Fox: Gimme a ballpark figure.

Lego Hobo: S-several?

Hawkodile: I'm sure that's fine.

[Hawkodile opens the door and a large number of rats rush in, carrying Dr. Fox away]

Dr. Fox: Whaaah!

Unikitty: [Walks in avoiding the rats] We need to talk.

[Hawkodile, Unikitty, Puppycorn, and Dr. Fox go to the front lawn]

Unikitty: You're too nice, Hawkodile. It was fun when it was just the three of us abusing how easy-going your are, but this has gone too far.

Old Timey Mustache Man: [Inside] Hey, go poke yourself!

[Throws Green Dad out through the window]

Dr. Fox: Unikitty is right. You need to show some authority and tell these people to go.

[Green Dad repeatedly pokes Dr. Fox's face]

Dr. Fox: We learned a lesson today: Freedom is a beautiful thing, but too much of it is... Hold on a second.

[Dr. Fox loses patience and throws Green Dad back inside through the castle's door]

Dr. Fox: AND STOP POKING PEOP-- [Gags when Green Dad pokes the inside of her mouth]

Unikitty: Hey Hawkodile, can I have a flare gun?

[Hawkodile inhales deeply]

Dr. Fox: Remember, you have to say no.

[Hawkodile struggles to say no and eventually faints]

Unikitty: I think we can safely say it's not in his nature to say no.

[Unikitty, Puppycorn, and Dr. Fox return inside. Green Dad returns and pokes Hawkodile. Inside the house, the Lego Hobo walks by, dressed in Unikitty's clothes]

Unikitty: Hey, those are my clothes!

Lego Hobo: Not anymore! [Laughs]

Unikitty: [Trying to interrupt the party] EVERYBODY, STOP! I SAID STOP! STOP!

Librarian: [Shouting] SHUT UP, THE GIRL HAS SOMETHING TO SAY!

Unikitty: Thank you. Now, what I wanted to say is that--

Librarian: PAY ATTENTION EVERYONE! THIS MIGHT BE IMPORTANT!

Unikitty: [Clears her throat] Uh, as I was saying--

Librarian: LISTEN CLOSELY, HE'S ABOUT TO SPEAK!

Unikitty: [Sighs] I just wanna s--

Librarian: ANY MINUTE NOW!

Unikitty: DO YOU MIND?! Okay, I know it's--

Librarian: SORRY!

Unikitty: [Inhales] I know it feels great to be allowed to do whatever you want. Until now I hated rules like all of you. Freedom is beautiful, but the problem is: with too much freedom--

Librarian: THIS LITTLE TYRANT IS TRYING TO STEAL OUR FREEDOM!

[The four are thrown out from their house]

Puppycorn: You can't throw us out. This is OUR house!

Everyone inside: Not anymore!

Unikitty: That's it, I'm calling the police. [At a payphone] Hi, police? Princess Unikitty calling. A bunch of people just stole our house and won't let us in.

Action Police: [Inside Unikitty's house] Sorry, I can't hear you. I'm at a party in this house. You should come, there's no rules here. [Tases a corn citizen and he pops, laughs]

Unikitty: [Angrily hits the handset against the payphone] It seems the police won't be of much help.

[They return home]

Dr. Fox: Come on Hawkodile, go and get our house back!

Hawkodile: I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna run through that door. I am not a coward. [Running to the door] I am a cannonball! [Stops at the door and turns around]

Hawkodile: Who am I kidding? That's a solid oak front door. It's like trying to break a tree with my face.

Unikitty: Half an hour of heavy breathing and pep talking for this? Just use me as a ram guys.

Puppycorn, Dr. Fox, and Unikitty: [Running to the door with Unikitty as a ram] Aaaaaaaaaah...

[Unikitty's face goes through the mail slot instead of breaking the door, and Green Dad pokes her eye. Next, Unikitty tries to open the door with Hawkodile's credit card]

Hawkodile: Oh, this is all my fault. It's because I have no authority. If I wasn't such a lenient slacker, none of this would have happened. [Sobs]

Unikitty: Yeah, that's true.

Puppycorn: Uh-huh.

Dr. Fox: Yup.

Hawkodile: Oh come on, you're supposed to say, "No Hawkodile, we're all responsible." Then we would hug, and I would feel less guilty.

Unikitty: Mmm... Nah, this one's definitely on you.

[Hawkodile's credit card is taken by the Lego Hobo inside]

Unikitty: What the what?!

Lego Hobo: [Singing holding the credit card] Oh oh ohhh.

Rats: [Singing] Oh oh ohhh.

Lego Hobo: [On the phone] Hello, sir. I would like to order two-thousand pizzas please.

Hawkodile: Hey, give that back! Aaah! [Attempts to break the door the same as earlier and fails] I just don't have it in me.

Dr. Fox: Hold on, I think that guy gave me an idea.

[Unikitty, Puppycorn and Dr. Fox are then shown disguised as a pizza delivery man]

Sausage Guy​​​​​​: Yes, pizza! Thanks man, here's a tip.

Puppycorn: [Sticks his paw out from the coat] Here's your receipt.

Sausage Guy​​​​​​: Uhh, you can keep it.

[Sausage Guy attempts to carry the heavy stack of pizzas, but the strain causes his bottom to explode]

Unikitty: Please allow us-- [Gets punched from inside the uniform] Ah! Me! Please let me help you with that.

Sausage Guy​​​​​​: [Opens a pizza box] Wait a minute, how come this is so heavy? These boxes are empty.

Hawkodile: [Mouth full] Surprise! [Swallows] In your sausage face! We're getting our house back, Trojan style!

Dino Dude: Come on, be cool man. Please let us hang out.

Hawkodile: Well, I suppose since you're asking nicely...

Dr. Fox: Ahem!

[Unikitty Puppycorn, and Dr. Fox look angrily at Hawkodile]

Hawkodile: But I'll have to say... [Struggles] I'll have to say... [Struggles] I'll have to say... [Struggles] I'll have to say no! A man's house is his castle, and this is my house, my castle. So get out of here! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Green Dad: Or what?

[Hawkodile shrugs, and the four get thrown out again]

Puppycorn: I don't understand, we did everything right.

Unikitty: Yeah, you turned responsible and showed some backbone. I don't get it.

Dr. Fox: Hmm... something's missing, some kind of ruthless ruler.

Hawkodile: Yeah, a wrathful divinity that could crush this joyful chaos with one hit from its iron fist. Someone like...

[Richard arrives home. He floats to the four and causes them to cry silently. he then opens the door, revealing his eyes to be glowing.]

Richard: HEY!!!!

[The partiers stares at him in fear]

Richard: [Scary voice] You're going to clean this place until it looks better than when you arrived. Then you will leave, and never come back.

Green Dad: Pfft, or what?

[Richard comes close to Green Dad and stares with a deathly apparition of souls in his eyes. Green Dad then submits into cleaning while crying, and the others quickly join him]

[The episode ends]

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