Equestria Girls Band Geeks A Spongebob Parody

My Fifth Mlp eqg Fanfiction

[Sci-Twi reads a book at her house a knock is heard and she goes to answer a doctor is at the door]

Doctor: Yes, i'm from Canterlot Vet and i understand that you have a dying animal on the premise.

Sci-Twi: My Dog is fine thank you, now leave.

(she slams the door the Phone starts to ring)

Sci-Twi: Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the [She blows a raspberry.]

Adagio Dazzle: Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh ol' Twi?

Sci-Twi: (gasps) Adagio Dazzle! is that you? from the class band?!

Adagio Dazzle: That's right, i heard you have a dying animal.

Sci-Twi: My dog is fine!

Adagio Dazzle: I'm the leader of The Dazzlings now, and we're supposed to play the Canterlot Bowl next week.

Sci-Twi: The can-can-can... The can-can-can... The can-can-can?!?!

Adagio Dazzle: That's right. I'm living your dreams Twi The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.

Sci-Twi: Ohh, uhh, I... I, uhh...

Adagio Dazzle: I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now.

Sci-Twi: Hold it! It just so happens that I don't sell fast food, I do have a band, and we're gonna play that Canterlot Bowl! How do you like that, Knucklehead?!

Adagio Dazzle: Good luck next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of... ibuprofen!

[Sci-Twi and Adagio Dazzle hang up the phone]

Spike: Who's is in the phone?

Sci-Twi: Quick, Spike we gotta drum up a marching band fast! Drum... haha... band humor.

(In the follow lines the citizens are reading from a poster. each are in diffent directions.)

Rainbow Dash: Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?

Rarity: Then become part of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit Canterlot.

Fluttershy: And be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know.

Pinkie Pie: Not to mention free refreshments.

Applejack: Practice begins tonight. 8:30 sharp.

Sci-Twi: (looks at her watch while driving a cart) Stupid music rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow, heh, more band humor.

(The scene cuts to inside Canterlot High School, where everyone is there.)

All: Blah, blah, blah, blah...

Sci-Twi: People, people, settle down! Ok, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?

Trixie: Do instruments of torture count?

Sci-Twi: No.

Derpy: Is mayonnaise an instrument?

Sci-Twi: No Derpy, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

(Derpy raises her hand again)

Sci-Twi: Horseradish is not an instrument, either.

(Derpy lowers her hand)

Sci-Twi: That's fine. No one has any experience. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you.

(She laughs. The CHS students stays in silent)

Snips: So when do we get the free food?

Sci-Twi: Ok, try to repeat after me. (she plays 6 notes on a clarinet) Brass section, go. [brass section Bon Bon, Apple Bloom and Micro Chips repeats badly] Good. Now the wind. [wind section Lyra, Scootaloo and Mystery Hint repeats badly] And the drums. [drummers Pinkie Pie, Blueberry Cake and Sweetie Belle misunderstand what Sci-Twi means, so they blow on their sticks which blow out and stick Sci-twi to the wall] Too bad that didn't kill me. [Next scene] Let's just try stepping in the rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.

Pinkie Pie: Is this the part where we start kicking?

Sci-Twi: No Pinkie that's a chorus line.

Derpy: Kicking? I wanna do some kicking! (Derpy kicks Applejack in the leg)

Applejack: Ow! Why, you...! Why I oughta...! (She jumps on Derpy and starts fighting her until they roll outside and the doors slam shut)

Derpy: (Makes a very long painful scream.)

(Everyone pauses and stare at the door, then Derpy sticks her head back in)

Derpy: whoever's the owner of the white sedan you left your lights on

(She walks in and it is revealed that Applejack has stuck her body in a trombone. Trombone notes are heard as she walks towards her seat. As she sits down, she makes a sound on her trombone. Makes a loud trombone noise as she opens her mouth. Stares at herself)

Narrator: Day two

(The scene shows the band walking down a street playing Semper Fidelis, badly.)

Sci-Twi: Okay, that's perfect everybody. Canterlot Bowl here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn. Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers let's move! C'mon, move!

(The flag twirlers Sandalwood and Teddy spin so hard that they take off into the sky and crash into a blimp, which causes an explosion. A trumpet player plays taps while everyone mourns, except Sci-Twi, who just lies down on the ground.)

Narrator: Day three.

Sci-Twi: How's that harmonica solo coming Trixie.

Trixie: It's tremendous, you wanna see? I can play this harmonica faster.

Sci-Twi: Are you sure you can play that harmonica faster?

Trixie: Watch and learn.

(She plays the harmonica by blowing the holes, but soon runs out of breath; tries to play notes she blows an unsuccessful last note and faints on the floor)

Narrator: Day four.

Sci-Twi: Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began... (Derpy chews on a trumpet) ...but I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?

Trixie: (Loudy) CORRECT!

Sci-Twi: So, if we play loud, people might think we're good. Everybody ready? And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!

(screen cuts to the outside of Canterlot High School and a blast of noise ensues, breaking the windows. Cuts back inside the music school, where Sci-Twi is shocked, Her hair is distorted beyond recognition, Her clothers torn and her baton breaks in half)

Sci-Twi: OK, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.

Rover: (in a fake british accent) Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with stupid, rocker, hands!

Flash Sentry: What did you say, punk?!

Rover: (shouts loudy) Stupid,... rocker... hands!

Flash Sentry: Well, these hands ain't for just attractin' mates!.

Rover: Bring it on, punk! Bring it on!

Pinkie Pie: [tries intervening] No, people. Let's be smart and bring it off.

Octavia Melody: Oh, so now the talking haired bubblegum is gonna preach to us!

Sci-Twi: Wait, wait. I know tensions are high... ''[Everyone gets into a fight. Wiz Kid and Big Macintosh are yelling at each other. Sweetie Belle slams a drum at him]'' There's a deposit on that equipment, people! ''[everyone uses their instruments as weapons. Flash Sentry and Rover charge at each other with large woodwinds, but try to screech to a halt, and Lyra Heartstrings slams them both with her cymbals]'' Settle down, please! ''[Applejack and Mystery Hint are fighting. Applejack breaks the xylophone keys from Mystery Hint and Mystery Hint runs away. Derpy kicks Applejack, who growls at her before producing a trumpet with an evil grin. Derpy realizes what's coming and runs away screaming as Applejack chases her with the trumpet. The scene cuts to the clock which shows it being 10 o'clock and everyone stops fighting.]''

Micro Chips: Hey, class is over!

(The band members walk to the door where Sci-Twi slams it open.)

Sci-Twi: Well, you did it. You took my one chance in happiness... and crushed it! Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-size pieces. I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks. [sobbing] Thanks for nothing! [She walks away from the school.]

Derpy: You're welcome.

Pinkie Pie: What kind of monsters are we? That poor creature came to us in her hour of need, and we failed her. Twilight's always been there for us when it was convenient for her. Bon Bon when your little cat was trapped in a tree, who rescued her?

Bon Bon: A Fireman.

Pinkie Pie: And Bulk Biceps, when your heart gave out from all those tanning pills, who revived you?

Bulk Biceps: Some guy in an ambulance.

Pinkie Pie: Right. So, if we can all just pretend that Twilight was a firewoman, or some girl in an ambulance, then I'm sure that we can all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band.

Cherry Crash: Yeah, for the firewoman!

All: Hooray!

Pinkie Pie: Now let's make Twilight proud. A 1, a 2, a skiddly diddly doo.

(The scene cuts to the Canterlot Bowl)

Sci-Twi: I knew this was gonna happen. They're just gonna have to find another band to play. I just hope that... [zooms out to reveal Adagio Dazzle is there] ...Adagio Dazzle doesn't find out! Adagio Dazzle [screams] What are you doing here?

Adagio Dazzle: Oh I just came to watch you blow it. So, where's your band?

Sci-Twi: Uh, they couldn't come. They... died.

Adagio Dazzle: Then who's that?

(points to Pinkie Pie and the rest of the band)

Sci-Twi: (screams and her eyes pop out) That would be my band!

Pinkie Pie: We're ready to perform, Twilight.

Adagio Dazzle: Well, Twilight Sparkle, this is exactly how I pictured your band would look.

(Pinkie Pie dances)

Sci-Twi: (disappointed) That's her eager face

(Adagio Dazzle laughs while they all go into the Canterlot Bowl)

Sci-Twi: [everybody marches to the Canterlot Bowl and starts performing.] Well, i guess this will be the last time I can show my face in this town.

Pinkie Pie: That's the spirit, Twilight.

Spike: I trust you're going do well.

Sci-Twi: Thanks, Spike!

(The bowl raises above a football field.)

Football Announcer: Okay, Football fans. Put your hands together for the Canterlot Super Band!

(A crowd of football fans cheering is shown.)

Derpy: These are some ugly looking american players.

Pinkie Pie: Maybe we're in one of those toxic waste dumps.

Rainbow Dash: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Sci-Twi: (Nervously) Alright, everybody. (Glances at Adagio Dazzle, who grins and bounces her unibrows) Let's get this over with. 1, 2, 3, 4...

(The band starts to play a wonderful intro. Sci-Twi opens her eyes, shocked. Pinkie Pie begins singing.)

Pinkie Pie: (voice of David Glen Eisley) ♪The winner takes all, it's the thrill of one more kill. The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will. Don't ever look back on the world closin' in. Be on the attack with your wings on the wind. Oh, the games will begin. (Adagio Dazzle stares in shock, Sci-Twi gives her a smug grin and throws her baton over her shoulder and uses her hands for conducting.) ♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight,♪ ''(Adagio Dazzle faints and gets carried away by stretchers. Sci-Twi waves a smug goodbye to her and runs to the middle of the stage.) ♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And the one who's last to fall. We will have sweet, sweet victory...♪ (Sci-Twi jumps up and the scene freezes. It then fades to black.)''